SITUATION: We are invited to two out of town weddings - we are attending only one due to timing and distance (6 hour drive). The grooms are brothers - wedding are three months apart. My husband is first cousin with the grooms' father. We are not close - it's been about 15 years since we saw them. We plan to give money as the gift.
QUESTIONS - WHAT DO WE DO?
Wife's position: We give the same amount as a gift to both couples regardless whether or not we attend the weddings. My etiquette training = I believe that it's a GIFT (we give what we can as a gesture) not a way for the couple to make money back on the cost of the wedding.
Husband's position: We give more to the couple that we are attending the wedding of as they are spending $$$ to feed us at reception. He thinks that it is proper etiquette to give enough to cover the cost of the meal....
Sooo he asked me to check with etiquette experts......I have read all your posts re gifts are optional but I need an official ruling on the thought that we are supposed to pay for our supper by the amount we give as gift.....I cannot find anything that says we have to give enough to cover the cost of the meal....
Thanks in advance for your input.
(This post was
edited by vw on Apr 1, 2005, 7:52 PM)
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Apr 1, 2005, 9:29 PM
Post #2 of 3
(2001 views)
Re: [vw] RULING REQUESTED RE GIFT GIVING
[In reply to]
Hello,
There isn't any written etiquette to my knowledge that you have to give a larger gift to a couple if you actually attend their wedding. That is purerly a personal choice. Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 3, 2005, 6:34 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1981 views)
Re: [vw] RULING REQUESTED RE GIFT GIVING
[In reply to]
Dear Ruling,
Here is the official word: Give what you want to give to each brother. You never have to pay for your own meal. So, this is not a good rationale for giving.
A gift is a gift. It has to be from the heart. We always give what we feel is right.
RULING REQUESTED RE GIFT GIVING
