I'd be out of the country and therefore unable to attend a friend's future daughter-in-law's bridal shower. Am I expected to send a gift for that occassion? And then a wedding gift later? Or, could I consolidate the two and send a more substantial wedding gift from her registry? From the postings I have read, I understand that you strongly advocate that gifts should not be expected, and that they should come from the heart, not obligations. But after reading many of the postings, I'm sad to realize that, in the real world, that doesnt work. Most of those negative feelings I read about were caused by the issues of "non-gifts". What's the "real" thing to do?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 5, 2006, 4:47 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 5, 2006, 5:19 PM
Post #2 of 4
(1392 views)
Re: [LIKE TO KNOW] Sending a gift if I am not attending the party?
[In reply to]
Dear Like to Know,
Yes, we have some who feel as if they should receive a gift for every reason. This is why many of us are trying to remind people that gifts should never be expected. This, hopefully, will bring back some sanity in our society.
And, for many of us, we never expect gifts or have negative thoughts for not receiving gifts. Those who really live in the real world where there are people in real need feel blessed when we do receive the simplest of items. Of course, as a woman, I do love to receive chocolate :)
In the 'real' world, if you are not attending the shower, you are not expected to give a gift. I believe the same is true for weddings. However, some really do believe that the invitation to a wedding obligates the receiver to give. So, it is your choice.
If you plan on attending the wedding, please do give a gift. It doesn't have to be expensive. Please ship the gift to the couple's home before the wedding.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Sending a gift if I am not attending the party?
[In reply to]
Thank you, Rebecca, for your real advice. You are so right, the REAL needs in the REAL world are not gifts that come in a box or in a card. So be REAL, those of you who harbor such ill feelings about not having received those expected gifts...feel dissappointed, then shrug it off, and move on to the REAL issues. Make the world a better place! REALLY!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 8, 2006, 8:51 AM
Post #4 of 4
(1329 views)
Re: [LIKE TO KNOW] Sending a gift if I am not attending the party?
[In reply to]
Sending a gift if I am not attending the party?
