My fiance and I are trying to survive wedding month -- that's right 4 weddings in four weekends! (Yay, people love us - boo, not made of money). To make matters more fun, one of us is in the wedding party in three of them. Right now, we're trying to figure out how much to spend on everyone's wedding gifts... any suggestions?
We're in MA for reference.
Wedding 1: MA, Martha's Vineyard. Law school friend of fiance (I sort of know her as well). Neither in wedding party. Probably not going to attend.
Wedding 2: Right down the street from us. Childhood friend of groom (but not that close anymore). Fiance is groomsman. Not sure what he's paying for yet (bachelor party??).
Wedding 3: In Florida. My absolute best friend. I am MOH. Flying down, staying with parents. Paying for dress, bridal shower, bachlorette party. Have super-perfect and nice bridal shower present for her already.
Wedding 4: In Buffalo. Fiance is groomsman. Couple is one of our closest friends. Flying out to Buffalo, renting car, staying in hotel, 1/3 of bachelor party (but not a wild night).
All of the brides and grooms know we have four weddings in four weeks and both just graduated from law school (so, have lots of debt and not making money yet). Anyway, any and all suggestions about what we should be thinking of spending would be amazingly appreciated. Every website seems to say something different. My first guess is: 1: $50 (if we don't attend), 2: $75???, 3: $100-125, 4: $100.
Am I WAY off? (A side question is whether I can just get everyone stuff off their registry or if we need to be creative for any of them?)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jun 25, 2008, 1:20 PM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: So many weddings... how much to spend?
[In reply to]
No one can tell you what to spend on a gift. This is a very personal decision made based on your relationship with the couple and not on any etiquette standard that doesn't exists. I would, however, caution you against giving money. Check to see if they have a gift registry and send a gift to the home of the bride before the wedding. The is the most appropriate thing to do and it takes the focus off the dollar amount and brings it back to the gift. Choose something meaningful or a gift you know the couple will appreciate. The best presents are those given with lots of thought and love. Anyone can write a check, right? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Jun 25, 2008, 1:25 PM
Post #3 of 4
(735 views)
Re: So many weddings... how much to spend?
[In reply to]
There is no prescription for price. Shop the registries and give thoughtful gifts as possible. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 25, 2008, 3:51 PM
Post #4 of 4
(724 views)
Re: So many weddings... how much to spend?
[In reply to]
I completely agree. There will always be someone who wants to tell you that there are silly rules, such as give a gift equal to the amount of the meal--very silly. But, there are no such rules. Give from the heart, always.
Having said that, you are not obligated to give a gift unless attending the wedding. And, if you are an attendant, it is very appropriate to share the gift expense with your fellow attendants. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
So many weddings... how much to spend?
