I am getting married in Europe where I live & my brother will be walking me down the aisle as my father is no longer alive. I have sent out files to all my family members & guests about the great history of the church where the ceremony will take place, the choir & its ancient organ in addition to the history of the castle that my fiancé & I are renting -at great expense- so that our families can spend the weekend there after the wedding & get to know each other. It is obvious by the file & the trouble I went to to put it together that this is going to be a grand affair.My brother, his wife & 2 daughters cannot stop saying how excited they are to attend. However, my brother often leaves everything up to his wife to do concerning family matters, & she is a noted tightwad, according to my sisters. I just received their wedding gift with a note from my sister in law that she chose it specially because it reminided her of Old Europe: it is a cheap cardboard photo album with a lady in a sparkle covered dress & a string of beads as a bookmark!! It looks like something from Kmart for a 6 year old child! It's insulting, especially when I think of the expense & trouble my fiancé have gone through so that are families can have a view of Europe that most don't have. My brother has no problem buying an appropriate gift-a silver picture frame or something. Is it possible to send the gift back? Does etiguette allow me to say something to my brother (starting with the words "You jerk" perhaps)? As his sister, I feel it was his responsibility to make the effort to choose something.I don't feel I can just let this go by as it really burns me up-particularly since I've lived in Europe for years & this is the first time my brother has visited me.
Thanks for any advice you could give
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 29, 2006, 11:51 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1403 views)
Re: [lutece109] Terrible Gift from Family Member
[In reply to]
Obviously, your sister-in-law went to some trouble to select this gift and send it. Any gift you receive should be welcomed with thanks since I'm sure you are not hosting this grand affair just for the gifts.
Only complain to your brother about his wife, and their gift, if you want to hurt his feelings and perhaps lose the relationship.
Focus on the wonderful time you'll have with your family and be a gracious hostess. Remember, gifts get used, spent put away, etc. But, your relationships, and the wonderful memories of your wedding, will last a lifetime. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 29, 2006, 12:32 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1402 views)
Re: [lutece109] Terrible Gift from Family Member
[In reply to]
I couldn't agree more. We never return a gift to the sender because it was not more expensive.
Gifts should never be the focus. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Terrible Gift from Family Member
