I recently finished sending all of my thank you notes and my stepmother raised concern with an issue I didn't see posted.
My father has a lot of cousins and they all have adult children around my age (mid- to late-20s). Even though I have been supporting myself since I finished undergrad, a bunch of them are in school and/or still live with their parents.
All of his cousins and their children were invited to our wedding and about half of them attended. As a joint gift, three of my father's cousins gave us an expensive gift off of our registry from them and "their children". I wrote thank you notes to all of them (including their children) since all of their names were on the card. My stepmother feels this was not appropriate as only the parents chipped in for the gift and their children did not. She thinks this may make the kids feel bad that they didn't give us a separate gift. I felt like since all of their names were on the card, they should all be thanked. If I didn't know the history, I would have thought they all chipped in, and, regardless, who cares? It was a thoughtful gift and I was thrilled that the ones who did come did. Without getting into family drama, my father was reaquainted with them three years ago and it's awesome to have more family members my age to share the holidays with.
Did I make anyone feel bad? Should I have sent the cards only to the parents? I only sent my cards out over the weekend, so I'm worried I should have written to you in advance, but it honestly didn't cross my mind.
Thank you for your expert advice. I didn't realize receiving gifts graciously would be so hard...
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 21, 2006, 2:11 PM
Post #2 of 2
(609 views)
Re: [heinz57] Thank you for joint gift
[In reply to]
Dear Very Gracious,
No worries. You did nothing wrong. The thank you notes could have been addressed either way. However, my favorite choice is the one you chose as all of their names were on the card.
Thank you for joint gift
