I am very confused! A friend asked me to be the maid of honor at her wedding (along with another friend who will be matron of honor). The wedding is planned for 2008. Two weeks after the announcement of their engagement, however, the couple invited us to visit them (two hour flight away) to witness their elopement. (They eloped for financial reasons--she is currently unemployed.) I could not afford the flight (of which she was already aware) and did not attend the ceremony nor the gathering held afterwards.
The wedding for 2008, however, is still being planned. They "eloped" but are still planning the big wedding...wedding dress, cake, church, guests, etc....for next year.
They are not going to register for gifts. They want to have a charity wedding in which guests will donate money to various charities in the couple's name. I sent them a card but did not get them an "elopement" gift because I thought that it would be better to make the donation in their name for the "wedding" in 2008.
The last time that I spoke with the bride, she told me that she was going to forward the email addresses of the other attendants to me. What is it that I am supposed to plan for them since they are not asking for gifts and they are already married? Should I have given her an elopement gift?
Thank you in advance for your help!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 10, 2007, 10:01 AM
Post #2 of 3
(884 views)
Re: [Maid of Honor] When do I give a gift?
[In reply to]
Dear Maid of Honor,
I would be confused as well. This isn't a wedding. It is an improper vow renewal. There is nothing to plan or prepare, as this should be a small, private family affair. She shouldn't have attendants and there are no gifts. It isn't polite to even ask for any type of gifts, even if it is for charity.
They are married. She is a wife, not a bride. So, it may be best to ask your friend to read about vow renewal etiquettebefore she embarrasses herself, her husband, and family. People tend to think poorly about those who host these types of events.
It is entirely optional to give her a wedding gift.
When do I give a gift?
