For various reasons we have decided not to register. We put a small PS in a newsletter we enclosed with our save-the-date that says: We have been asked a few times about a registry, we have chosen not to register. The greatest gift you can give us is to come and celebrate with us.
We are not concerned with gifts, we do not expect gifts, and hope our guests heed our request, I feel their money is better spent elsewhere. Gifts are for a couple just starting out, this is a first marriage for both of us, but we are in our mid thirties, we don't NEED anything.
Okay that all said...my FMIL has asked my fiancé for us to open our gifts at the reception. I feel the time spent at the reception would be much more rewarding for all involved if we spend time with our guests, not spend time seeing what our guests brought us. I feel very uncomfortable with this request she has given us, and I frankly do not want to do it. I don't know what to do. She has really not requested anything of us for our wedding, she's a very sweet person and I do not want to offend her. But I am very firm on the idea I do not want to open gifts at the reception.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
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Jun 10, 2005, 8:14 AM
Post #2 of 4
(1739 views)
Re: [WABride] When is it acceptable to open gifts?
[In reply to]
Dear WA Bride:
It is not traditional to open gifts during the wedding reception. Wedding gifts should be sent to the home of the bride before the wedding. If anyone does bring a gift to the reception there should be a place to house the gifts, but there should be no opening. This is not a wedding shower.
Perhaps you can explain to your future mother-in-law that you have read in Emily Posts' newest book on etiquette, and have heard on this forum, that opening gifts at the wedding reception is not proper etiquette. I think this can be done in a gentle way so as not to hurt her feelings or cause her any embarassment. Your conversation can begin like this, "I was surprised to read in Emily Post's newest book of etiquette that gift opening during the wedding reception is not proper etiquette". Then you can go on to explain how you posted here...
Good luck! Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
WABride
Jun 10, 2005, 9:57 AM
Post #3 of 4
(1730 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] When is it acceptable to open gifts?
[In reply to]
Oh boy, I'm not sure if that is an option. I had read somewhere months ago that opening gifts at the reception was not proper etiquette. My fiancé's sister is getting married this month, and her and I had discussed this topic a few months ago, then I ran across this being an etiquette faux paus. I explained that to her, since the discussion was about whether or not we should open them at the receptions. The reason this topic came up with my fiancé and myself is because my FSIL had mentioned to me "Mom wants us to open gifts at the reception so we are". That evening I asked my fiancé if he had that conversation with his mom and he said yes, she asked me to. I don't want to appear as if I'm trying to be superior to my FSIL, or that I'm trying to make her look bad etc.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jun 10, 2005, 10:03 AM
Post #4 of 4
(1727 views)
Re: [WABride] When is it acceptable to open gifts?
[In reply to]
Why don't you tell your fiance that you don't want to be disrespectful to his mom but that you also don't want to be embarassed by opening gifts at the reception, which you know is not proper. Show him these posts or show him in the book I mentioned. Then, let him go to his mom and TELL (not ask but tell nicely) her that he has decided that he wil not be opening gifts at the wedding reception becuse he has discovered that it is not socailly acceptable and does not wish to be embarassed. Let your groom deal with his mother and you stay out of it. Just make sure he doesn't leave this open to discussion. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
When is it acceptable to open gifts?
