The staunch "etiquette" answer is no, if you're not attending then you aren't obligated to send a gift. However, this is your daughter and you'll want to address this on a more personal level.
My fiance is in the same boat so I am asking him to reply to you through me.
How long has it been since you spoke? What efforts have you made to try and reach out to your daughter? Why aren't you speaking? If you've made every effort to speak to her and she's still snubbing you then you'll probably be wasting your money. Don't reward bad behavior. And, if she's not speaking to you just out of her aliance with her mom then that's bad behavior.
However, if you think there might be any sort of chance of a reconciliation, I would recommend sending a small, inexpensive gift (chosen wisely with her in mind) along with a heart-felt note detailing your feelings on her wedding day. Send it to her before the wedding, which should be done anyway, but in this case may melt her heart and change her mind about inviting you.
This is a very personal experience and a difficult choice. I'm sure we don't have all of the details. God bless you and your decision. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 16, 2008, 8:02 PM
Post #3 of 3
(209 views)
Re: divorced dad not invited to the wedding - send a gift?
[In reply to]
That is very good advice. I would also add, that knowing your daughter and your history together--the history before bad feelings--is key. Not that we were not on good terms, but my mother gave me a gift for my wedding that really brought back feelings of the little girl in me. She remembered, as only a mother or father could, that as a little girl I loved homemade plum jam. She went to the trouble of making some and shipping it to me. Of course I cried and called her right away.
divorced dad not invited to the wedding - send a gift?
