This may be a touchy topic. I will put it as delicately as possible so as not to appear greedy.
We are having a post wedding reception in the USA almost a year after our wedding because we live abroad. All the guests we are inviting to the wedding in the USA were invited to our wedding abroad. Very few could make it and very few gave gifts because we told them we would have a reception afterwards in the states.
We are having a sit down dinner with music etc. because many guests are older and don't feel comfortable at barbecues or buffets. My parents and myself have also been to many weddings and given generous gifts. Of course the reception is to celebrate with all the guests who couldn't make it to our wedding because we really felt their absence....no other reason.
My question is since it will almost be a year after the wedding will guests still give monetary gifts? I don't want this question to be interpreted the wrong way. The only reason I ask is because this is another party we are paying for so we want to budget ourselves and know what to expect.....just a little worried about finances. We wanted to wait longer to save a little more, but then it would be too late.
Those who sent gifts or traveled abroad for us will only bring themselves of course (I will politely write it on their invitation). If we were a little more secure financially I wouldn't even ask this question and tell EVERYONE to only bring themselves!
Thanks
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 11, 2008, 10:10 AM
Post #2 of 7
(333 views)
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
Dear LLL,
This isn't a gift giving event, especially since it will be more of an anniversary party. The wedding is a gift giving event for which the guests are supposed to ship a gift to the house of the couple. Monetary gifts are custom in some areas and in some cultures, but not all. In fact, most do not give cash and find it crass. So, it is best not to expect any gifts.
We never, ever mention gifts on the invitation, even if it is to say that you are not expecting any.
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
Hello Rebecca,
We would never expect a gift from anyone. You are absoultely right. I wholeheartedly mean that. I was just wondering if our gifts given in the past would be reciprocated? (Only due to our budget)
In reference to writing on the invitation of those who already participated in our wedding that we don't expect gifts. I thought that they would automatically assume they should bring another gift and misunderstand the invitation and I would hate for that to happen! Sorry I'm just a little confused and worried.
Thanks again,
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 11, 2008, 12:07 PM
Post #4 of 7
(314 views)
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
Gifts should never be given with the hopes of getting value back or being reciprocal. And, you can spread the wprd around verbally that you don;t expect gifts, if you're worried that your reception guests might be misinformed and think that a reception invitation requires them to bring (another) gift. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
LLL
Jul 11, 2008, 12:59 PM
Post #5 of 7
(302 views)
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
Hello,
I hope I expressed myself appropriately and didn't give a misguided impression. No gift is given in order to receive...just trying to plan accordingly and use proper edcuate. Thank you both for your advice. It is greatly appreciated.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 11, 2008, 1:01 PM
Post #6 of 7
(300 views)
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
No worries. No one thinks ill of you. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 12, 2008, 4:01 PM
Post #7 of 7
(272 views)
Re: gifts at post wedding reception?
[In reply to]
I made the comment I did in response to what you said:
"I was just wondering if our gifts given in the past would be reciprocated? (Only due to our budget)"
If I misunderstood that quote then please correct me. Thank you.
Also, please make sure you use the spellcheck before posting. Etiquette was misspelled. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
gifts at post wedding reception?
