wedding gifts to someone when they've not given one to you
I believe this may be a tacky question, but is it common practice to not give a wedding gift to a couple if they have not given a gift in honor of your wedding ? There is such a rise in couples "elloping" in some form or fashion these days, and my observation has been that those that have done so in recent years and have recently attended our wedding have not offered any card or gift. Could it be simply because we did not offer them a gift after they elloped?
Normally we are extremely generous when we are invited to a wedding, no matter what the style or expense of the event, but more so if we sense the couple could use it more or if the couple is particularly close. Though, I admit I have not always been particularly consistent in sending a gift if we could not attend. Being on the other side of the gift giving and having that first hand knowledge of what other people give has been really eye opening. We have been questioning whether we will become "cheaper" with our gifts for future events. My new husband now feels that we should not give a gift to friends who will wed this coming summer if no gift is received from them for our wedding.
Looking for you to set us straight on these matters. Thank you.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Dec 14, 2005, 3:48 PM
Post #2 of 3
(1059 views)
Re: [juniper] wedding gifts to someone when they've not given one to you
[In reply to]
Dear Juniper,
As I have said before, we give because this is what we wish to do. It should not be based on if this person gave to us, how formal the affair, or anything else.
Gift giving should never be based on if someone gives to you. This could be viewed as childish. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Dec 14, 2005, 3:58 PM
Post #3 of 3
(1055 views)
Re: [juniper] wedding gifts to someone when they've not given one to you
[In reply to]
Perhaps these people did send you a gift but it got lost in the mail. But -- why are you changing the way you operate based on someone else's actions? Either you want to attend the wedding of the couple and bring a gift or you don't.
Weddings aren't about gifts -- they are about two people standing in front of those they most care for to profess their love for one another (and for their guests too). All of this focus on the gifts is silly.
Do unto others... Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
wedding gifts to someone when they've not given one to you
