what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
We have received an invitation to a reception and shower but not to the wedding (local) from my husbands co-worker. We also go to dinner with this couple, who live together and have a child together, frequently. I am also their paid daycare provider. What gifts are we obligated to give?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Oct 1, 2007, 10:12 AM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Oct 2, 2007, 9:28 AM
Post #2 of 5
(836 views)
Re: [kimcz5] what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
[In reply to]
That you are invited to the reception does indicate that you are a special guest to this couple. Ceremonies may be deemed private for many reasons - religious convictions, space considerations at a small chapel, or simply the desire to keep the ceremony extremely private.
However, you are being invited to the reception (where I imagine you will be offered refreshments or a meal) and to enjoy the celebration. It is appropriate for you to give a gift for the shower, and also to bring a wedding gift. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 3, 2007, 5:26 PM
Post #3 of 5
(811 views)
Re: [kimcz5] what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
[In reply to]
Yes, it is very nice to be invited to the reception. But, only those invited to the wedding may be invited to the shower. This is not polite.
It is unfortunate they did not know any better. If you do attend the bridal shower, you would be expected to give a gift. But, you are not obligated to give a gift for the reception. The gift is supposed to be for the wedding. Many do not realize this though. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
kimcz5
Oct 8, 2007, 9:09 AM
Post #4 of 5
(764 views)
Re: [Etiquette Now] what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
[In reply to]
Thanks for the info. I decided to take the high road and assume that the bride/shower hostess had good intentions and did not know any better. My daughters (invited also) and I arrived at the shower, gift in tow, at a local restaurant. Food service was not explained to us but the bride did order appetizers. However, when they arrived she did not share. The hostess of the shower never showed and the bride said her son had been sick with a virus but the hostess was never sick but did not want to spread anything. When, the waiter came to take our orders she asked if this was one check wich the bride promply replied "No, seperate". So along with my gift I paid $60 for lunch. When I called the number on the invitation to rsvp the bride answered. I am now wondering if the bride threw herself a shower or if the hostess just bailed on her and she made the best of a bad situation.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 8, 2007, 9:51 AM
Post #5 of 5
(757 views)
Re: [kimcz5] what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
[In reply to]
Oh my! That was in very poor taste wasn't it? I am so glad you shared this because so many tend to fight me on this issue. Many do believe that they can invite guests to a party in their honor and expect their guests to pay for it.
This is currently happening with birthday parties, housewarmings (I'm not kidding), and as we have seen with showers. It is unfortunate.
I suppose we can hope that she didn't know any better. But, that was a great teachable moment for you and your daughter. I bet daughter won't make that mistake in the future.
what gifts to give for reception & shower invite only
