Perhaps I'm just old fashioned, but with the new online gift registries, brides know before they even receive gifts what they are getting, just not by whom. They open delivered boxes and pull out the packing slip and says "oh Aunt Sue bought us our Blender". Why does the store even bother wrapping it? I read a previous post that says it's good etiquette to open a shipped gift and send a thank you note right away. Shouldn't wedding gifts be open after the wedding? You know, once you're actually married? Shouldn't there be some element of surprise or at least some anticipation? And, I don't understand how people can use a wedding gift before the wedding. What happens if a wedding is called off, aren't you supposed to return the gifts? It happens. Society has become so "instant gratification". Should we just have people open their Christmas gifts as soon as we buy them or hand them the packing slip so they know what it is before they unwrap it? It takes the fun out of gift giving. But maybe I am just not moving on with the times. After all, there is a lot of things that don't wait until after the wedding. I have found with my own children that they have a hard time waiting for anything. Maybe we need to slow down, learn to wait, learn to anticipate, enjoy looking forward to something. There is the old adage, "some things are worth waiting for"
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edited by TWQadmin on Jul 15, 2008, 11:08 AM)
I agree with you on the sentiment that our new generations seem very entitled. That lies with parents these days, not etiquette, though.
Gift registries are optional, so, couples don't always know what they are getting and no one has to buy a gift from the list. The gifts are opened when received so the couple can tell the guests the gift was received and is intact. Sometimes gifts can get damaged in shipping. But, it is still fun for the couple to open the gifts to see what is inside. They should not use the gift until after the wedding, for the reasons you stated.
Maybe you can start with your children to diffuse this "gimme now and all" situation. It really does begin at home, one child at a time.
Thanks for sharing. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Miss Manners went on a tirade not too long ago about the "new etiquette." Mostly, she was ranting about registries asking for money and the backlash from guests who rebelled (good for them). So, we are not the only ones missing past protocols.
I also agree that if we want change we must parent. Hopefully with one child at a time, we will instill a bit of propriety in our world.
And, no one should use their wedding or shower gifts before the wedding.
why bother wrapping wedding gifts
