Like many couples who have already posted questions on here, we have a delimma with the gift registry. We are in our late 30s - early 40s and are not really interested in obtaining more stuff. However, we are going to be immediately starting our quest to be adoptive parents after the wedding events end. Unfortunately, that takes money and we are saving for that.
We were wondering if it would be appropriate to say ask or list this as a registry item? And if we wanted this to be our only registry item would it be appropriate and how would we word it? Would the best idea be to post this on our wedding website (on the appropriate tab) and provide for a box to collect these gifts? Are we right in thinking this will be the only way we could know who to thank when it comes to writing thank you cards? In addition, we thought we would create a newsletter/blog that would let those who donated track our progress later on until we obtained our goal of adopting a new son or daughter.
We thought since the occasion was to create a family that this might be a great idea and something we have been preparing for for some time in parallel to the wedding. There is a website for accepting such donations as a registry but a 10% fee levied on every donation just doesn't seem right for our guests intentions and our purpose.
Thoughts?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 3
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Re: Wedding Gift Registry - Adoption
[In reply to]
Dear McFreed,
That is a bit of a stretch--really. Consider how you would word this if you were to try to coax others into giving you money because you are adopting and marrying. Difficult, huh?
Wanting cash for any reason is not new and wanting cash as a wedding present is common. But, we don't request it on a registry. We don't request it in writing. You could mention on your site that you are saving toward the eventuality of adoption and allow your guests to decide for themselves. Word of mouth is truly the most polite method though. And, please note that many people find the idea of someone wanting cash gifts as greedy.
Please remember that a registry is supposed to be a guide for guests, so they know what you need or want. They are not obligated to give you anything that is on it.
Wedding Gift Registry - Adoption
