Both my parents have rather large familys, with more than 9 siblings on each side. Both sides stay as close as possible for families of that size. Even though the wedding will be quite large, I have had to cut family members that I know would not be able to attend due to distance and finances. Most of these people would be hurt if they were not informed of my wedding. My fiance's parents have more traditional size families, all of whom will recieve invitations to the wedding. My future step-mother in-law, who is helping plan the wedding, has gone out of her way to inform me that sending announcements is wrong and not the proper way to do things because we are having a church wedding. She has enlisted the help of her friends to support her idea. Her reasons go from it looks like begging for gifts (the announcemts all state NO GIFTS PLEASE), to why should they know if they were not " cool enough " to get an invitation in the first place and her friends have told her it is not proper etiquette. All of her advise comes from people who also have more traditional sized families. What is the proper thing to do, and how do I politely inform my future S Mother-in-Law that proper etiquitte dictates sending announcements (if that is indeed the case)?
It is unfortunate, but very common, that people don't read what is proper. Many prefer to make it up to support their views.
Announcements are fine and sent after the wedding. These are not a plea for gifts and should never mention gifts, even 'no gifts please'. These are only sent to people who need to know about the wedding, such as family and business associate who need to know about the name change.
I have no idea what being married in the church has to do with sending announcements. That is a quandary.
You could direct her here or to any etiquette book. It is written everywhere.
Announcements???
