My husband and I eloped awhile ago. Our original plan was not to tell anyone and still have a wedding/reception later. He's in the military and the only way that I was going to be able to afford to move and live with him was if we were married (marriage had always been talked about) Everyone just thought that we were engaged and planning a wedding for Aug. I didn't realize how much stress it would put on me to keep it a secret and I finally told my family. They were upset that we didn't include them and inform them. Now we are thinking that we should just tell everyone, but, we still want to have a vow renewal/reception in Aug. I just don't want to hurt anymore people by telling them that we were married almost a year ago. Is there a way to word an announcement of our elopement that doesn't necessarily have the date, states that there will be a vow renewal/reception that we really hope everyone can attend. I dont want it to be rude, or seem like we didn't care about anyone else. We just had to do what we did and I'm sort of regretting the way in which we went about it. But now I am dealing with this, and I don't know what to do!! I just need help with how to word an announcement. Also, are we pretty much out of luck when it comes to registering or can we do that for our vow renewal / reception? Please Please Please help!!
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 21, 2006, 3:35 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 21, 2006, 4:07 PM
Post #2 of 6
(2124 views)
Re: [lakang] Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
[In reply to]
Dear Eloped and Facing Family,
It would probably be better to simply host a reception. Your guests will know that you are married and this is a celebration of your wedding. There are many who have had to make the decision you made. So, please do not feel guilty.
You can, if you want, have your vow renewal as part of an anniversary party. This is commonly done as well.
If you want to tell everyone about your marriage and upcoming plans, you could do this informally through a handwritten letter or verbally. If you create a more formal invitation, it would be proper to write all of that. In fact, most just send a wedding reception invitation and inform the guests about the wedding particulars at the party.
Registering is a big no-no at this point, as are all wedding activities. But, you really have not missed much. You have had a year with the man you wanted to marry and love. And, what is one more toaster compared with that?
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
[In reply to]
So you don't think that we can have a vow renewal/reception still in Aug 07?? Everyone would know that it was a renewal. And you dont think that we can send out announcements? What is the difference between a handwritten and an announcement that has our pic and a little speel about what we did?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jul 21, 2006, 4:52 PM
Post #4 of 6
(2109 views)
Re: [lakang] Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
[In reply to]
You definitely could have a vow renewal and sort of a reception. It would be more of an anniversary party though if you combine those two elements. But, you haven't been married too long, so a wedding reception would still be your best bet. Either are fine though.
An announcement is sent directly after the wedding and only to those not invited to a wedding or reception. These two should not be confused--an invitation and an announcement. You would be confusing your guests by sending an announcement because it has been so long since you have been married.
The more informal invitation to your event will have all of your information on it, which we wouldn't include on a formal, traditional invitation. Please read more about vow renewal invitation etiquette. You will see how simple these are supposed to be. With the more informal note or letter, you can say anything you want. But, of course, you wouldn't send these for a formal affair. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
lakang
Jul 21, 2006, 6:14 PM
Post #5 of 6
(2102 views)
Re: [lakang] Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
[In reply to]
One last question: So in order for everyone to find out that we are married (friends family etc) it will be either by a phone call or word of mouth? I thought that was bad that we were not sending out an announcement. We are not telling people that it was a year ago, but we are wanting to imply that this has just happend.
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jul 22, 2006, 9:06 AM
Post #6 of 6
(2092 views)
Re: [lakang] Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
[In reply to]
Begining your married life with a lie of this magnitude isn't a good idea. Come clean and let everyone know that you are married and have been so for over a year. If you share the reason I'm sure they will understand. Plus, you won't be carrying around any guilt and you'll be free to celebrate, and talk about, your anniversary on the real date that it occurs. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Eloped and having a vow renewal and reception.
