When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
Hi-
I have read through a few pages of posts, but I was wondering I still have this in my head as a good idea and just wanted to double check how bad of an idea it is.
My boyfriend and I have been living together for going on 8 years and have finally decided the time is right. In April, on our 8th Anniversary, we plan to finally tie the knot at City Hall. No one will be invited and there will be no real ceremony, per say. But we do intend to have a relatively informal party in August at a park on the Hudson River. Since the party will be so informal, we figured people could just come and go as they want.
That said, the only people who know of our current plans are my father (who will be helping me with the party) and his family who is out of state. While visiting his family this holiday season, we had a last minute, informal, engagement party at his parents house and invited his close relatives who we felt might miss out in celebrating with us come summer time.
So... (sorry so long!)
I wanted to send out Announcements after we do the deed in April to everyone and include save-the-dates for those in-state who will be invited to the picnic/party at the river park. Then about 4 weeks before the party I would send out actual invites so they will remember (August seemed to far from April to just leave it at that).
Is this terribly wrong? Thanks.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 14, 2008, 5:25 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 14, 2008, 6:29 PM
Post #2 of 5
(1124 views)
Re: [merideathx] When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
[In reply to]
Dear Merideathx,
Sending your save the dates at the time you indicate is fine, but you don't need an announcement. Your guests will know that you are married or will be by the time of the reception. You would want to send your invitations at least 8 weeks before your party.
Only those invited to the wedding should have been invited to the engagement party. You probably didn't have control over this, but it is good for all to know.
Re: [Etiquette Now] When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
[In reply to]
Hey Rebecca,
The engagement party was less of a real engagement party and more of my boyfriend's idea that "hey, lets celebrate with my family while we are out here for Christmas so we don't have to come back in the summer and do a separate party" - if that makes any sense. We bought a six ft party sub and had some cheap champagne at his folks house. And no one whatsoever will be invited to the actual wedding, as I stated in my initial post. I would say it is more like we are simply going to the courthouse and filing the paperwork.
I thought the announcements would be a nice way to say "look, we finally did it" since we have been living together for so long. But I think, from what you are saying, the invites to the picnic party serve enough as an announcement in and of themselves. I guess I am just stuck in semantics right now.
And the reality of it all is that even though I guess I care enough about the etiquette to be looking at this forum in the first place, we are very non-traditional overall so I don't think the same rules apply to us.
Thanks for your advice anyhow.
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 15, 2008, 9:59 AM
Post #4 of 5
(1101 views)
Re: [merideathx] When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
[In reply to]
Be very careful though. It is fine to be non-traditionalist in many cases and doesn't really fly in the face of what is proper. Etiquette is simply socially expected behavior. When someone dismisses what is considered polite socially savvy manners, that person is usually perceived as socially inept. This is not something, I believe anyway, that most would want to be known as.
Doing what is considered proper says very positive things about a person. Of course we all have to decide for ourselves. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Jan 15, 2008, 10:04 AM
Post #5 of 5
(1100 views)
Re: [merideathx] When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
[In reply to]
Etiquette also says a lot about how the host feels about her guests. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
When to Send Wedding Announcement & Save the Date?
