very confused with announcement and expectation of gift exchange
Hi there,
First of all I'd like to extend a big thanks to all the experts on this site. I'm due to be married to my long time boyfriend of 10 years in a very small ceremony in January and find the advice here to be very informative! THANK YOU!
Recently I received an invitation in the mail with the return address from only the groom who is part of my fiance's extended family and who is also our car mechanic. I received it post marked 5 days after the actual event. It was worded as such:
Mary, Susan, and Joe invite you to attend the marriage of their parents John Smith and Mary on August 18, 2007. Reception to follow at (location of reception). It's obvious to me that even though I received an invitation it was meant to announce their marriage. My fiance and I understand that because we did not know the bride very well that we were not invited, although we would like to have been.
We know they are not expecting a gift from us but we would like to send them one anyway but my dilemma is that if we give them one, they may feel obligated to give us one for the reception we are having for family and friends a month after our wedding ceremony. Given their not so subtle breeches of wedding etiquette should we just anticipate that they will know that our reception is not a gift giving event so that they would not feel obligated to give us one? Or do you think it would be inappropriate to give them one because it might appear as we are asking for gifts for ours?
Thanks for any advice you can provide. :)
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 29, 2007, 3:52 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 29, 2007, 5:43 PM
Post #2 of 2
(1849 views)
Re: [Yecats44] very confused with announcement and expectation of gift exchange
[In reply to]
Dear Yecats,
Thank you for the compliment! We do try.
Don't worry about it. If you want to give them a gift, then do. If they wish to reciprocate, they will. But, it shouldn't have anything to do with you being a generous person.
And, for future note (all others who read this) it is very important to send invitations before the event not after and not to confuse the invitation with an announcement.
very confused with announcement and expectation of gift exchange
