Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
My dilemma starts with being in 4 weddings this year in which all of the response cards were addresses with "Adults Only", which I know isn't proper. All the receptions of these weddings were flooded with children! So, we have 5 children in our wedding attending the reception. Their parents may have them picked up after dinner because they would like to enjoy themselves. I have no problem with the children that are in the wedding being there, but do not want unexpected small guests showing up either. Is there anyway to sort of subtly suggest this? Maybe just Mr. & Mrs. on response card?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 17, 2008, 9:20 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 17, 2008, 1:26 PM
Post #2 of 5
(366 views)
Re: Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
[In reply to]
Dear Kerrie,
Yes, we have a huge problem with guests who feel "entitled" to bring their children just because they feel that their children should be allowed to go anywhere they wish--big parenting problem. Plus, so many just don't know how to be a good guest. And, they say etiquette isn't important! Jeez
Listing a Mr. and Mrs. is a good choice. Also, (unfortunately) many are now resorting to listing the names of those invited on the response card. Miss Manners is probably in shock. But, I consider that, even though it isn't entirely proper, it isn't entirely improper either. You may also want to try to "get the word out" about your choice of limiting children.
I do have to chime in about your choice of allowing a choice few to bring their children while excluding others. Parents often feel insulted when their child wasn't invited and others were.
Re: Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
[In reply to]
I totally understand the why one & not the other issue. It was just that everyone was like if those children are a actual part of the bridal party then they are automatically included. But I do believe both sets of parents are arranging a pick up for them after dinner so at least the parents can unwind without chasing kids! Why is it that people are so blind to this? We never went to weddings when we were little it was just always an "adult thing".
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 17, 2008, 4:29 PM
Post #4 of 5
(355 views)
Re: Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
[In reply to]
My opinion - parents have over-extended themselves financially to a point where they work way too many hours and then feel guilty about the lack of time spent with their children. So, anywhere they go they feel the kids should go too. Some weddings can be a family affair, but many, especially weddings held in the evening where alcohol is served, should be relegated to adults only.
Parent's need to spend time with their children, but they also need time as a couple, or as a single, to enjoy adult activities.
Thanks for allowing me my rant. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 17, 2008, 4:32 PM
Post #5 of 5
(355 views)
Re: Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
[In reply to]
I completely agree and lament with you. Unfortunately we have had a couple of generations, now, who didn't have much etiquette/manners' training. Even my generation (50+) who were brought up to address adults by Mr. and Mrs., lost much of our training in our teens and early adult years. Many of us were thumbing our noses at authority and questioning everything, which really isn't such a horrible thing. But, it did create a lot of people who didn't pay attention to how our behavior affected others. I do see the trend changing a bit now, which is evidenced by wonderful sites like this one--thankfully.
Just keep doing the right thing and perhaps others will notice. It is sort of like a take on "Paying it Forward". Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Addressing wedding invitations with no children invited
