Combined Renewal and Wedding Invitation/ Event Etiquette
Hello.
We are celebrating our 20th Anniversary. We have always had a great marriage but have had very difficult times, so it is very special to us and we want to renew our vows with our close friends and family who have always been there with us, including having our entire wedding party attend because we have stayed close to all of them. We have a unique situation in that we would like to somehow include our grandchildren that we are raising and also, our son, who is slightly disabled due to a traumatic brain injury and his fiancee live with us and are planning a big wedding next year...but our son wants to be legally wed on our anniversary out of sentiment and the feeling that it will make their marriage that much more special.They do not wish their vows to interfere with our day but we are at a loss as what to put on our invitations??? Don't mention their part? Should be have it as our Anniversary or Renewal? Should we have a combined ceremony? We are having a buffet dinner at dusk in our back yard. Can you help me please?
Congratulations on your 20th! And, you are using this type of ceremony in the most appropriate manner--for the benchmark anniversary to restate your vows to each other.
There are a couple of ways you could approach this. You could state on your vow renewal invitation that your son will share in your day with his vows of marriage to his fiance (name). Or, it could be a surprise event, which is also appropriate.
If you invite your guests to the two events, they may feel as if you expect them to give two gifts, even though the vow renewal isn't considered an obligatory gift giving event. But, the bench mark anniversary party is considered a gift giving event by many--not that it is really is. So, they may feel the gift pinch.
On the other hand, some may feel awkward about not giving your son a wedding gift. This isn't as much an issue though; because they can always ship one after the wedding.
If it were me, I would invite my guests to a vow renewal to celebrate our 20th anniversary. Then after our vow renewal, our facilitator would ask our guests to remain in their seats for the wedding of our son to his fiance (name). This just may be the sweetest event of the season .
Either way you decide to approach this, consider your guests and what they will feel comfortable with.
Combined Renewal and Wedding Invitation/ Event Etiquette
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