Coworkers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
I am from a very large Italian family and my fiancé (although not Italian) has a lot of family too. We were planning on having a bigger wedding but, as often is the case, financial issues are requiring us to limit the guest list to only 140. We are having a traditional Italian seated affair as a respect to my family and culture so the cost per place is quite pricey. We have cut the list several times and have excluded a lot of people. Our guest list is now only family and very close friends (and still we are at 140). Now, here is the problem.. I work in a very small law office. There are two lawyers and about 4 other women that work there. The receptionist recently hinted that they expect to be invited to the wedding. Ordinarily I’d be okay with that, but to invite them and their spouses add another 12 people to the list – which equals an extra cost of approximately $1,500.00 – including food, favours, etc… My fiancé is not inviting anyone from his work (he is an accountant at a large mill). How should I handle the situation? I never see my coworkers outside of work, and I only work in the office two days a week. I don’t want it to be awkward after the wedding, but I don’t want to invite coworkers when I’ve been cutting out members of my own family who I am not close to and never see.
What should I do???? Is there an easy or polite way to tell them that they aren't invited?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 15, 2007, 1:30 PM)
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Nov 15, 2007, 1:37 PM
Post #2 of 5
(1009 views)
Re: [daniela027] Co-workers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
It is very rude to expect to be invited to a wedding, let alone hint to the bride about your expectation. Shame on your co-worker.
We don't typically invite co-workers unless they are close friends. Simply tell those in your office that you'd just love to invite everyone you know but you have such a large family and a limited budget that you simply cannot invite coworkers. But, I would only do this if asked directly. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Nov 15, 2007, 2:22 PM
Post #3 of 5
(1001 views)
Re: [daniela027] Coworkers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
I agree. And if you continue getting "hints", perhaps you can diplomatically handle the situation by "confiding" in this receptionist how hard it has been to cut the guest list to fit the total number that you've pre-determined, and that you've been so glad to know that at least at work, your friends didn't have unreasonable expectations of being automatically invited. Hopefully she'll begin to sympathize with you instead of rallying others to riot. Good luck! Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Nov 15, 2007, 4:56 PM
Post #4 of 5
(992 views)
Re: [daniela027] Coworkers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
I completely agree. This 'hinter' could relay this information.
Please don't feel guilty not inviting them. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
daniela027
Nov 15, 2007, 5:01 PM
Post #5 of 5
(988 views)
Re: [Etiquette Now] Coworkers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
[In reply to]
Thank you so much for all of your advice. I really appreciate it. I will definitely use your suggestions the next time someone hints that I'm supposed to invite them to the wedding. Thanks again!
Coworkers assume they'll be invited to the wedding
