Divorced Parents - Father left mother of the bride off invitation
My parents are divorced. My father has remarried and my mother has not. My father and stepmother are paying for most of the wedding and reception. My fiancee and I are paying for the band and ceremony music as well as the flowers traditionally paid for by the groom. My mother is paying for my dress and all accessories, my maid of honor's dress, and our suite the night before the wedding. My stepmother and father had the invitations printed without having me proof the wording. I assumed that my mother would be included as she is not deceased or estranged and she contributed financially to the wedding. However, she was left off and my stepmother and father were the only hosts listed. I know this will hurt her tremendously. I know I was stupid not to ask to proof the wording ahead of time, but if it could be done again, what would the appropriate wording be?
Thanks,
Caught in the Middle
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Mar 15, 2008, 9:00 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 10, 2004, 11:42 AM
Post #2 of 4
(2097 views)
Re: [erniem] Divorced parents....Mother left off invitation!
[In reply to]
Dear Caught in the Middle,
Yikes! This is uncomfortable to say the least. Because all of your parents contributed and are hosts, the invitation should have included your mother's name such as:
Jane Brown (or Ms. Jane Brown)
Steven and Mary Brown (or Mr. and Mrs.)
requests the honour of your presence ...
I'm sorry that this happened and please do not blame yourself.
Re: [erniem] Divorced parents....Mother left off invitation!
[In reply to]
Now my mother is very hurt and upset and wants to send out a "corrected" batch of invitations. I feel this will confuse everyone and not help. I am still furious with my Dad and Stepmom and expect them to explain to as many people as possible about this error, but I think second invitations would not be a good idea. What's done is done, but is there anything that can be done to smooth things out without being tacky?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 12, 2004, 2:12 PM
Post #4 of 4
(2053 views)
Re: [erniem] Divorced parents....Mother left off invitation!
[In reply to]
Dear Caught in the Middle,
I am so sorry about your mother's pain and your distress. I agree that sending out corrected invitations would confuse people and may appear petty to some.
Mothers are usually in the spot light during their daughter's wedding and she will still be viewed as host, so hopefully she will be able to move past this slight.
Please ensure that she sits in the front pew.
People make mistakes on invitations often, so hopefully this was simply an oversight on your father's end. And, hopefully everyone can now focus on what is really important--you and the wonderful new life you are about to begin.
Divorced Parents - Father left mother of the bride off invitation
