Father of the bride wants to invite his step children and co-workers
My father is being a bit overbearing about the wedding guest list. My parents split up 8 years ago and he has been married to my stepmother for 6 years, she has 2 adult children who I have seen once a year at thanksgiving but have no other contact with. He also wants to invite a bunch of his co-workers-- one who I have known since childhood and would like to invite, the rest I have only met once or twice and have no relationship with. We hoped to make the wedding as small as possible, and I would like to invite only close friends and close family with whom I have a personal relationship (childhood and college friends, my 2 aunts and uncles, my brother and his wife, my 5 cousins and their husbands, that's it). Is it okay to not invite my step-sibling who I don't really know that well? Is it appropriate to tell my father that I want to limit 'his' guest list to only his close friends that are also close with me? And if I do have to invite my step-siblings, one is married and the other is not in any relationship, can I invite the one plus his wife, but still not invite a date for the single one?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Aug 12, 2007, 6:20 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Aug 13, 2007, 10:25 AM
Post #2 of 2
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Re: [khello] Father of the bride wants to invite his step children and co-workers
[In reply to]
Dear Khello,
You father still believes that he has a right to the guest list because traditionally the bride's parents paid for the wedding. So, they would invite all of their friends. This isn't the case now. The couple is financially responsible and they set the guest list. If you are not paying, it may be best to do so. It would give you more control over your wedding. But, even if you are not paying, anything he contributes is supposed to be considered a gift.
It would be best to invite your step siblings. They are family. With so many blended families these days, we really should consider our 'steps' our brothers and sisters, or at least we should try to.
You are not obligated to offer an escort for the unmarried step sibling. You are also not obligated to invite your father's friends and coworkers. This is actually not appropriate. It is as if he is asking for gifts from those with whom he works--negative business etiquette.
Father of the bride wants to invite his step children and co-workers
