My daughter's dad and I are divorced. I am remarried, he is not. He is very traditional and insists that my husband is not a host of the event (we are sharing the costs) and not to be named on the invitations, even though my daughter and her fiance prefer that all of the names (MOB, stepfather of B, FOB, MOG, and FOG) be included. Everyplace I have looked shows the inclusion of step-parents names as acceptable. His sources all indicate that the invitation to the wedding should include only the 'legal' parents, even to the point of saying that psychologically its better for my daughter and clearer for the guests as opposed to an invitation with three parents' names. This has become a very nasty issue - any ideas?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 15, 2009, 9:35 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: Listing step-parent name on wedding invitations
[In reply to]
Dear Donnaw,
I don't know where he is getting his information, but it can be done either way. Listing those contributing to the wedding is old fashiond and old tradition now in the days of parents not obligated to contribute and thus not really hosting. But, it is polite and the right thing to do.
There really is no way you could be contributing without your husband also bearing the cost as well. So, in old traditional terms, he is also "hosting". It is only fair to include him on the invitation. You can find this information in any etiquette book. Your ex can too. So, this might be a good place for your ex to start.
When we make up the rules as we go, or get our information from chat rooms or blogs (where people make up rules as to suit themselves and their situation), it can lead to a lot of confusion. We have too many choices that tend to be unfair to most or illogical or both. Typically, the information or choices are mostly fair and catering to a choice few.
Listing step-parent name on wedding invitations
