I wonder if we made a mistake. My fiancee and I sent a wedding invitation to his teenage children in the mail. We had spoken with them the week before about the wedding and the date. We thought they would appreciate a formal invitation and that it would make it seem more "real" to them as we've been engaged for some time. Then his eldest daughter writes us an email saying she is upset by this because she feels we insulted her mother by mailing it to their home. We certainly didn't mail it to cause a stir. We thought the children would be excited by it. Did we make a major faux pas without meaning to?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 9, 2009, 6:33 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: Mailing wedding invites to stepkids
[In reply to]
Dear Zenjen,
No, you didn't make a mistake. It is proper to mail separate invitations to those over a certain age--many acknowledge 18 as that age. Of course with an ex in the mix it can be a touchy issue. I probably would have suggested to hand deliver the invitation to avoid the possible hurt seeing the wedding invitation could cause to the ex--you never know how people might view it.
So, it might be best for your fiancé to speak to his daughter, letting her know your reasoning for mailing the invitations and that you two were following proper etiquette. Also, both of you could mention that neither of you wished to cause her mother harm.
Mailing wedding invites to stepkids
