Must I invite all the children of a couple including an infant
My two nieces will be 9 1/2 and 6 years old on the date of my wedding. They are exceptionally well-behaved and I am very close to them, although we live far apart now and do not see each other often. I have asked them to be a junior bridesmaid and a flower girl in my January wedding. My fiance's sister, who also lives far away, has a 4 year old daughter and an infant son. I did not want the daughter or my future sister-in-law to feel hurt or left out, so I asked the daughter to be a flower girl also. I think that she will behave herself for the most part. Besides the nieces who are in the wedding, I really do not want any other children there because it is a formal, nighttime wedding and I feel they will be disruptive, especially as the night wears on and they become more bored and tired. I have been to weddings where an infant screeched through the vows and I do not want that to happen at our wedding. My question is, can I disallow the infant son when his sibling is invited? The children's father will not be attending, so the infant could possibly stay home with him. I suspect that the best I could do would be to emphasize how much more fun she would have without the infant, rather than outright saying he is not allowed to come. However, I'm afraid that subtle suggestions will not work, as she does not realize that children are not allowed and has already said that her stepdaughters (who were not invited in the first place) will not be able to make it.
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edited by TWQadmin on Feb 18, 2008, 5:16 PM)
TWQadmin
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Sep 20, 2007, 9:14 AM
Post #2 of 4
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Re: [Janbride] Must I invite all the children of a couple, even if one is an infant?
[In reply to]
While I understand and agree that schreeching infants with parents who do not/cannot figure out that they need to be taken out of the church can be annoying, you really cannot tell this mother that some of her children are acceptable, while others are not. It would be insulting to her to think that you are insinuating that she wouldn't know enough to remove a child who is being disruptive. So, all you can do with this family is to invite everyone and then maybe speak to her personally, making subtle suggestions. But, many mothers would not want to be separated from an infant, even if that infant is in the care of his own father. Just be prepared for that.
It is a shame that many parents these days just refuse to parent their children and the rest of us have to suffer. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Sep 20, 2007, 9:15 AM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Sep 20, 2007, 10:01 AM
Post #3 of 4
(840 views)
Re: [Janbride] Must I invite all the children of a couple, even if one is an infant?
[In reply to]
It is rude to invite one of her children and not her other. But it would be appropriate to help her arrange a sitter (perhaps even for the infant and any other "suprise" young guests) during the ceremony. That might alleviate your stress and hers during the vows. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 20, 2007, 11:17 AM
Post #4 of 4
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Re: [Janbride] Must I invite all the children of a couple, even if one is an infant?
[In reply to]
Dear Janbride,
It probably would have been better to consider this before asking her daughter to be a flower girl, because it is considered impolite to invite one sibling and not the other. Plus, the mother would most likely want to be close to her baby.
The children would also have to be invited to the reception, as all wedding guests and bridal party are invited to the reception. If you wanted an all adult affair, it would have been better not to include children in the wedding.
All of that said, most likely you will have children attending with their parents. Many feel that their children are 'entitled' to attend all events, invited or not. Plus, you may have some parents upset that their children were not invited when they arrive and find a special few who were.
It may be best to hire a sitter for those children who you have invited and for those who are not.
Must I invite all the children of a couple including an infant
