My brother is getting married in 2 weeks and I was not invited to his wedding. There are only 2 siblings me and him. We had had some trust issues of a financial nature over the years but that has been over and rectified over the last 4 years. I spoke with him in depth a year ago when my mother told me he didnt want me in his wedding party. Being that I'm 31 and he's 24 and I've been out of the house since 17 I didnt really have hard feelings about that and in fact told him that if he has friends from College or High School that he wanted in his party I understood. However as the weeks drew nearer I realized I was not getting an invitation to the wedding itself.
I am deeply deeply disturbed by this. My mother doesnt want to take sides. I am pretty certain that his fiance doesnt like me and because I am adopted and he is not, she plays the "he's not your REAL brother" card.
Any guidance on what I should do?
uninvited in NC
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
Jun 16, 2007, 11:10 AM
Post #2 of 2
(657 views)
Re: [imkyle] Not invited to brothers wedding
[In reply to]
It would be impossible to guess at what the reasons are and perhaps you are right, it is because your brother's finace doesn't like you. This is not reason enough howver, to not invite you to their wedding and yet you are in no position to force their hand even if what they are doing is wrong.
I would suggest speaking to your brother directly. Don't draw your mother into this as she will feel put in the middle. She may not agree with their decision either but doesn't want to create more conflict. You have the right to ask what this is about especially because this just isn't about not being invited to the wedding, your relationship with your brother is in question and at stake here. Once again, you can't force his hand, but I do think you have the right to know and the right to let him know that this situation has been hurtful to you. Maybe he does feel he has legitimate reasons for not inviting you - I can't say as I don't have a full picture. But at the very least, I believe he should be able to explain to you why you're not being invited so you can decide how you want to handle the relationship from here on in.
This is a difficult situation. I understand that if you really can't understand on what basis he would choose not to invite you to his weddding, that this would leave you feeling confused and saddened by it. I wish you the best as you try to get some answers and some resolution to this matter. Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
Not invited to brothers wedding
