My fiance and I are being married in Jamaica on March 4th. We expect anywhere from 10-25 people to attend. This is the 2nd marriage for both of us. I am 26, he is 42. I was married for 4 years and he was married for 17.
I have been told that proper etiquette for destination weddings is to send the invitations months in advance of the wedding to give people ample time to make travel arrangements, get the best rates, not have to worry about being sold out, etc.
Well, we would also like about 2 months notice of how many people will be attending. Partly because we are having a welcome dinner for everyone the night before the wedding and a dinner and reception after the ceremony.
So, under that example, it would be to send out invites November 1st, ask for RSVPs 2 months later
Well, that means that my RSVP deadline would be January 1st.
Is that fair to do that to people right at Christmas/New Years?
Should I make it earlier, like mid-December?
Should I make it later, like mid-January?
Should I add a small RSVP note at the bottom of the inviation that says something like "RSVP and information available at ourwedding.com" and skip the formal RSVP card?
I was wondering if people might be less inclined to agree to go right before Christmas (no money left after buying all gifts), but maybe they'd be more inclined to goafter the holidays when things get settled (and they realize they didn't spend as much at Christmas or they got money for Christmas)?
Or maybe that could be the complete opposite?
I am clueless about how to make this work around Christmas. I myself want to make sure I have 2 months notice of everyone attending. That just puts it in a weird spot with the holidays right then too.
Any help or insight is appreciated! :)
Stephanie
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Oct 18, 2004, 4:54 PM
Post #2 of 4
(1961 views)
Re: [mrscordell2b] RSVPs around holidays?
[In reply to]
What is the reason that you need to have two months notice?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jan 14, 2006, 8:02 AM)
mrscordell2b
Deleted
Oct 18, 2004, 5:31 PM
Post #3 of 4
(1958 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] RSVPs around holidays?
[In reply to]
Hi! Basically because we are renting a luxury villa for our ceremony and reception. It's 6000 sq ft so there is plenty of physical room, but the live-in chef is only prepared to make the dinners for 10 people. Any more than that, we'd have to get a 2nd or 3rd chef which is doable, just need more notice.
I guess we could technically allow ourselves 1.5 months to make those arrangements, but wouldn't it be weird for guests to receive invites in the middle of November and not have to RSVP until the middle of January?
My biggest concern is that everyone has plenty of time to make arrangements if they are making the trip. March is PEAK season there and things can be sold out late in the year for the spring.
On the contrary, would it be silly to exclude RSVP cards altogether and just assume that people will get a hold of us if they are planning to make this BIG trip?
We're sending 100 invites, would it be crazy to include RSVP cards if we're expecting 90 No's back?
Thanks for any advice or insight you have for me!
Sincerely,
Stephanie
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Oct 19, 2004, 1:03 PM
Post #4 of 4
(1949 views)
Re: [mrscordell2b] RSVPs around holidays?
[In reply to]
Dear RSVP,
You could ask for the RSVP any time close to the two month dates that you mentioned. You will be mailing these out soon, so they will have time to decide.
As for the reponse cards--even though you do not expect all 100 to reply in the affirmative, you should either send reponse cards to all or none. But please do not state at the bottom of the invitation that they may respond on your website. You may include an enclosure with the name of your website with your invitations though.
RSVPs around holidays?
