My step daughter is in a quandary as how to word her invitation. Groom`s parents are alive but her father is deceased and mother is married to me. She wants to include both her late father and myself in the invitation. What is the proper way(s) to do so? TIA.
Unfortunately, mentioning a deceased parent in the invitation would not be proper. A wedding is an exciting, happy affair. So we wouldn't want to bring sadness into it by mentioning someone who is no longer with us. If you and her mother are hosting the wedding, it would state: Mr. and Mrs. Your name request the honour of your presence at the marriage of Mrs. Your Name's daughter. Or, if she is close to you, it would state 'our' daughter.
If your step-daughter wishes to mention both you and the groom's parents, after the bride and groom's names she would add: son of Mr. and Mrs. His Parents Names. If they are co-hosting the wedding, their names would be mentioned right under yours ('and' would be written on one line) before request the pleasure or honour of your presence of your company.
I respectfully disagree with the other post. Most often step parents are not included in the wording of the invitation unless they were instrumental in helping to raise or form the child into who they are today. As for including a deceased parent - it is a way to show love and respect if that is what you wish to do. I have done it many times for my clients and it is always very well received and they receive many positive loving comments about it. In fact, I wish I would have known about it when I got married - as my father passed away when I was three - I would have loved to included his memory in one of the most important events of my life, since he couldn't be there in person to share it with me.
One way you could word it would be:
Mrs. Bride's Mother
and the late Mr. Bride's Father (or "with loving memory of the late Mr. Bride's Father)
I apologize. I am still following older, traditional rules, which have changed. Thank you for the update. However, step-parents are mentioned when the bride wishes it, if he/she helped raise the person, or if that parent is hosting. Plus, according to Emily Post Etiquette, Pg 741 the deceased parent may be mentioned (I have read this book many times, imagine my surprise!). This is what she has to say and this is her example:
"This is acceptable as long as the invitation does not appear to be issued by the deceased.
Mr. and Mrs. Kevin Michael O'Callaghan
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of her daughter (or, Mrs. O'Callaghan's daughter)
Kelly Elizabeth Quimby
daughter of Mother' name and the late Father's name."
Thank you very much to help clear all of this up. I love the fact that there is a polite way to mention our loved ones who have passed. Until recently, we were limited in how we could politely show respect for our deceased loved ones, because we were not to bring sorrow into a 'happy occassion'. This is a heartwarming alternative.
Please, when mentioning deceased parents on an invitation, do not add the name at the top with the parents who are hosting. She can be the 'daughter' of the 'late' father, but he cannot invite guests. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Wording for Step Daughters Wedding Invitation?
