My SO and I want a small, intimate wedding. Yet we have huge families. I read in a few posts that it is inappropriate to send wedding announcements BEFORE the event to those not invited. But the situation gets kind of sticky.
Due to venue size we've developed a strict "Parents, grandparents, siblings" policy at the wedding, but to combat hurt feelings, we've invited the in-town guests to a small get together directly afterward with cake and champagne. The reception itself will be a few months later where everyone and their mother is invited, including those present at the vows etc.
Are we limited to letting our family and friends explain the complex situation (for example, some guests invited to the get together are not invited to the wedding, yet all are invited to the reception, so there are several events to pass along by word of mouth!), or can we send out a sort of save the date or invitation for the reception when the wedding invites go out? I've never heard of such a thing, but then, we aren't being very traditional already. It's been suggested that if anyone has questions to refer to a wedding website, but we aren't sure how internet savvy our extended family members are.
Any advice on how to proceed? I read several etiquette posts about who is invited to weddings, receptions, etc, and about gifts and expectations. But this situation seems a little too specific, so I apologize if this has been more or less addressed before. Thank you for your time.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Apr 28, 2008, 9:37 AM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 28, 2008, 2:00 PM
Post #2 of 4
(413 views)
Re: [weddingfrenzy] invitations to small ceremony and two receptions?
[In reply to]
Dear Weddingfrenzy,
It just seems specific to you because it is your situation. But, it really is the same situation that many of us confront--too little room or too small a budget. So, it seems that your guests should understand. It happens often.
You could send reception save the dates any time within a year to six months before your event. Then send invitations eight weeks before the event. The save the dates are optional.
Everyone will know you will be married by the date of the reception, so there is no need to explain. More than likely, when your guests receive your save the date or invitation, they will contact you and you can explain.
Re: [Etiquette Now] invitations to small ceremony and two receptions?
[In reply to]
I just wanted to make sure that invitations to a reception only would be appropriate... and, since it is such a small ceremony -- the people invited we see every week -- do we need formal invitations to the ceremony itself at all?
Thank you very much for the guidance!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Apr 28, 2008, 2:25 PM
Post #4 of 4
(407 views)
Re: [weddingfrenzy] invitations to small ceremony and two receptions?
[In reply to]
It is absolutely appropriate to invite guests to a reception, but not the wedding. We just don't do it the other way around.
If this is an informal wedding, you do not need formal invitations. Your invitation could be verbal. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
invitations to small ceremony and two receptions?
But, it really is the same situation that many of us confront--too little room or too small a budget. So, it seems that your guests should understand. It happens often. 