Hi - my wedding is this June and I am getting ready to send save-the-date cards but am debating whether to send them to everyone. There are about 90 of the 330 guests that are from out of town and would need to make accommodations. I was planning to include an insert providing the hotel information where we have a block. I don't really want to send the cards at all, but realize their necessity so arrangements can be made. I feel like if I send them to everyone I am over-zealous about them coming to the wedding, and we are counting on regrets to keep the reception from being too crowded. Sending the cards may cause more people to set aside the date and actually show up (crazy how that works) - so is it okay to only send the cards to out of town guests, but not everyone on the invitation list? If I do this will people not receiving a card think they're not invited if they hear from others that have? There isn't much information on the proper save-the-date etiquette. Thank you
You're correct there isn't much written about the etiquette of Save the Date cards basically because they are relatively new. So, we should just consider this as we would any other situation. We need to always think of how this will affect others. Polite? Considerate? Courteous?
It would seem that if you are sending Save the Date cards to one set of guests, you should send them to all just because you don't want your other guests to feel as if they are not going to be invited. However, Save the Date cards are just an alert to a wedding that is upcoming and to please set aside the date. You always back these up with an invitation. So, who needs to be alerted?
The Save the Date card is simply an option, so go ahead and send them to only the out of town guests. This seems logical and polite. You are telling the people who actually have to plan ahead that if they wish to share your day, they will need to plan.
save-the-date cards
