Am I Wrong to be upset about fiances cousins wedding?
My fiance and I have been engaged for two years. Our wedding date has been set since September 2008, and our families are both aware of this. Our wedding is June 6, 2009. Recently my fiances cousin got engaged to his girlfriend. They set a wedding date of May 2, 2009. I was really upset about this, because I felt they were "stealing our thunder" by having their wedding so close to ours. I talked to my fiances cousins sister about it, because we are close. I told her I was upset that they had no regard for how we felt, and didn't even call to let us know, I had to find out on facebook. She called her brothers new fiance and yelled at her for it (which I did not know she was going to do). And then all this family drama began over their wedding date being so close to ours. I did not intend for all the drama to happen. The cousins fiance emailed me and asked me what was going on, and accusing me of not being happy for them. I am happy for them, just upset that they are getting married so close to our wedding date. I called her and talked to her about it, and explained I was upset because I don't want to be stepping on each others toes, and now there would be two jack and jills, two wedding showers all within a few weeks between each other.She said she didn't think of it that way, and that they would most likely be changing their date. I just found out from my fiances cousins sister that they have decided to keep their wedding date. Only now they are using the excuse that their father is sick and they want to make sure that he is able to attend their wedding. That's understandable, but if that is the case, why not get married earlier than that. Am I wrong to be upset about this? What should I do/say about it?
PremaritalCoach
MARRIAGE/FAMILY COUNSELOR
Post #2 of 3
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Re: Am I Wrong to be upset about fiances cousins wedding?
[In reply to]
You have every right to be upset. I am sure you spent a lot of time planning this, you want it to be special for the entire family, and the actions of your fiancé’s cousin do seem inconsiderate. They very well may be stealing your thunder, you are right, or at least it seems like it.
The question of what to say, that is the difficult part. You can say all you want, it sounds like they have made their decision. It is sad that they do not seem to care and they will most likely continue to not care if you did say something else.
What to do? I would try my best to try to not take it personally; they may not be capable of seeing your point of view. Also, I would try to be as cordial as possible and allow the month to soften things for the family and create some possible excitement and anticipation (in between weddings that is).
Remember…a wedding is one day, a family is a lifetime.
Re: Am I Wrong to be upset about fiances cousins wedding?
[In reply to]
Thanks for your great advice John. I think you are right, I don't think they will change their minds or care. I think thats a great idea to create as much excitement about our wedding, following their wedding. Thanks again!
Am I Wrong to be upset about fiances cousins wedding?
