First, I want to say thanks for a very enlightening site. It's interesting to see what the current proper procedures are for weddings these days. I feel a bit like Rip Van Winkle....somehow I've been asleep and missed all the changes that now leaves the bride's mother out of most of the major planning and coordinating of their daughter's wedding. And I need not consult my 1957 Emily Post's Etiquette book except as an amusing historical record of simpler times!
So does today's bride's mother have any roles/obligations, or just what the bride requests/designates/accepts?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 4
(776 views)
Re: [brides'mom] Bride's mom place in wedding planning
[In reply to]
Dear Bride's mom,
Our children are much more independent that in the past and this is what we want for them. But, it does come with those heart tugs as well.
Some daughters want their mothers right there next to them while making all of the major decisions. But, more are deciding everything as a couple. So, you are correct. We are just there when they ask us to be. Of course, you will still be treated as special at the wedding.
Re: [Et.byRebecca] Bride's mom place in wedding planning
[In reply to]
What you say is very true about some daughters wanting their mothers in on all the planning and others taking an independent approach alone with their fiance as I am experiencing both with my two daughters.
I'm not expecting to have a special place at my oldest daughter's hot air balloon wedding, especially since I'll be on the ground! Her wedding plans are the only major disappointment I've ever experienced with her in 23 years of an overwhelmingly harmonious, loving mother-daughter relationship. But I've come to realize that it's past time to let go of the apron strings from my side of it and be happy for her on her wedding day. Do you think I should surprise her with a bridal bouquet? She doesn't even know what she's wearing yet!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #4 of 4
(750 views)
Re: [brides'mom] Bride's mom place in wedding planning
[In reply to]
I complete understand your feelings. Both of mine are over 30 and I bite my tongue so I don't offer unsolicited advice.
It is probably not a good idea to 'surprise' her with anything. She may not want the traditional bouquet. Perhaps you could offer one to her. Then she could choose the flowers.
Good luck with untying those apron strings. It is a difficult task. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Bride's mom place in wedding planning
