It's about three months before my wedding that we have been planning now for over three years. Save the dates have been sent out and all vendors are booked. Due to the economy, my fiance and I are having money problems now. Instead of having a grand wedding, my very generous parents have offered the money instead of this grand wedding for my fiance and I to get by on.
My fiance and I feel terrible and are to the point of canceling the wedding altogether and playing the wait and see game for another year. This is not the option we want as we have been living long distance and are ready to finally be together.
We've thought about scaling down the wedding of over 400 people to just close family members and the would have been bridal party. If we keep the same date we could still use some of the same vendors and pocket the leftover money to get by on. Plus some have already reserved plane tickets, though these are the family members who would be invited even if it was smaller. So we feel like it saves the most trouble and money for all involved to go ahead with the same date but with fewer people.
However being that we already sent save the date cards, it's upsetting and hurtful to not be able to include all those we had originally planned - the last thing we want to do is make them feel worse by basically "disinviting" them vs. just not including them on a different date had we just canceled altogether. Is it worth it to send out printed cards basically telling guests now they are uninvited or should we cancel the wedding altogether and have an even smaller wedding at a much later time?
We are terribly saddened and embarrassed by our situation and need an outside opinion. Thank you for all your help.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 22, 2009, 2:16 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 2
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Re: Econmy Causes Change in Wedding Plans
[In reply to]
Dear Ermartin,
This is why many find the save the dates a real problem, because all those who receive them must also receive an invitation. But, if you cannot afford the wedding, you will have to scale it back. This is not polite to your guests and definitely not something to be done lightly.
Send, a personal handwritten letter to each person you are disinviting, informing them that due to the economy you and your fiance must now marry in a private ceremony. This will be insulting to those who are "not good enough" to make the final cut though. So, plan on tending to wounded feelings for some time.
Econmy Causes Change in Wedding Plans
