My sister asked me to be her Maid of Honor for her wedding. She and I aren't very close at all. The problem is that her fiance is horrible. They fight constantly. He is an alcoholic. And I think the two of them are just rushing into marriage too fast. They just don't seem to go well together. I think my sister is more caught up in her wedding than actually being in a marriage. I don't think either of them realize the importance and difficulty of a marriage. As her Maid of Honor and sister - do I tell her I think she's making a big mistake? And if so, how do I break it to her gently without hurting her feelings or making her mad at me?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Feb 19, 2008, 9:33 AM)
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
Feb 19, 2008, 11:02 AM
Post #2 of 4
(328 views)
Re: [Jersey8] How do I tell the bride she's making a mistake
[In reply to]
As her sister, you have a responsibility to protect her. But make sure you are right, and not just perceiving things in a certain way - and perhaps enlist the gentle, supportive help of another family member or even a professional counselor so you don't end up ruining your own friendship and family relationship with her.
Re: [Jersey8] How do I tell the bride she's making a mistake
[In reply to]
If you tell her, even with the guidance of a counselor, even gently, she may still be hurt and/or angry. She may or may not be willing to listen. She may or may not distance herself from you. She may or may not reveal this to her alcoholic fiance`. She may or may not ask you to step down from your maid-of-honor position. So, first, ask yourself, if you can endure the worst that may happen. Then ask yourself if you can live with yourself if you remain silent knowing what you know, seeing what you see? If you do decide to approach her, I do suggest that you obtain professional counseling as to HOW to approach her. Tone is so important. This must come from love and concern, not judgment. It must be all about her, and not you.
Re: [Jersey8] How do I tell the bride she's making a mistake
[In reply to]
I completely agree. As a sister, myself, I understand and empathize. In the etiquette world, we don't usually openly correct others. But, it can be done politely.
If it were me, and I do agree with the need to speak to a counselor first, I would approach the issue by asking questions and not statements. For example: "Are you happy with ***?" And, then I would tell my sister how much I loved her and that I want her happy above all. This would be much easier for her to be honest when she is complaining about his behavior. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
How do I tell the bride she's making a mistake
