First, let me start by saying how much I love my future in laws. They are very sweet and loving. My problem is that sometimes their loving, sweet ways can be overbearing and my FH doesn't like to confront them as he feels it would be "easier" to let things go with what they want as to not upset them or cause an argument. My issue is that the more this happens the more I find it causing a wedge between me and my FH. They seem to think that because they help us either financially or in any other way, they should get to do it their way or make the decisions in our life. As you can tell this is not the way I wish to start my life. I don't want to sound ungrateful but I also do not wish to carry on like this as we progress and start a family. We have agreed to their guest list, and and most of their concerns that are wedding related. How can we end this before it ends us?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jul 12, 2008, 6:19 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 29, 2008, 4:46 PM
Post #2 of 2
(376 views)
in-laws want to plan the wedding their way
[In reply to]
Dear Bride,
Parents are used to supporting their children and being able to make decisions for them. This is a must when the child is young as young children are not capable of making many decisions for themselves. Now as adults we want to make our own decisions, and rightly so. But, when we accept monetary support from parents, they just may revert back to being the parent--making decisions for their child. It may be best not to accept money from them in the future if you want to have complete control of your lives.
Having said that, even if parents contribute to wedding costs it doesn't allow them to plan or invite. It is best that your fiance speaks to his parents about this. He will be your husband and not just their son; he could remind them of this fact. They just may respect him for wanting to be a good husband who considers his wife's comfort level and needs. Of course this is probably best for the both of you.
Mother of the bride wants to plan the wedding
