I am a bride-to-be without parents. My fiance and I have already decided on non-side-specific seating for the ceremony so that his side does not overwhelm mine due to my lack of family. I have no parents, siblings or extended family (g-parents, aunts, uncles, etc). My lack of family raises several issues though:
1. Who lights the unity candles?
2. Would it be appropriate to have an older couple who have been like parents to me sit where the bride's parents are supposed to be at the ceremony?
3. What other ways can we balance out all of the typical ceremony/reception parent involvement since his immediate and extended family will be participating? We don't want my lack of family to be overly embarrassing.
Any other advice on how to deal with the whole day without family would be helpful. It's a hard thing for a woman to have such a special day without family involved since that's such an expected thing. My future husband has been absolutely wonderful ever since the day we met. He's very supportive of me and has no issues at all with the fact that I have no family. My future in-laws are wonderful and include me in holidays and other family events. There are going to be quite a few people at the wedding that don't know that I don't have any family, so we really don't know how to deal with all of the inevitable questions. Any advice we could get would be wonderful! Thank you so much!
1. The taper candles can be prelighted prior to seating. The unity ceremony represents the joining of the two individuals to become one.
2. It would be very appropriate for the "older couple" to receive the honor seating and could be placed where your parents would sit.
3. Since the "older couple" have been like parents to you, it would be entirely appropriate to use them in the parental capacity.
Finally I would make a tribute to your parents in the program. Listing the "older couple" as Honorary Parents of the bride would be a special way to thank them for what they've done for you.
Many times the families are not balanced for one reason or another and it need not be a problem. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Jill
Psychotherapist: Second Weddings & Stepfamilies
First of all, please please dont be embarrassed by the situation. From what you say you are marrying into a loving warm family - who will be your family too.
What an excellent idea to have a non-side-specific seating for the ceremony. I am not sure that it is a good idea to have an older couple sit where the bride's parents usually sit - unless you want them to take on that role. That would include any seating at the reception too. I dont really think people will ask questions, if you and your fiance are relaxed and happy - so will your guests be too. They will take their clue from you both!
Are you planning on greeting your guests at the reception - it is quite usual for the bridal couple to do this alone, and not to include either set of parents in a line-up.
The family you are marrying into seem to have embraced you to their hearts, and I wish you many many happy years together and a lovely family wedding day. Jill Curtis Psychotherapist, Author How to Get Married ... Again (A Guide to Second Weddings) London, UK http://www.familyonwards.com
Parentless Bride
