My friend is getting married in Cancun and once she found out that I decided to come, she asked me to be a part of her wedding. Shortly after, my boyfriend proposed and we began discussing wedding dates. Since we don't have enough cash to take two big trips within one year we considered having our wedding the weekend before we left for her destination wedding. I understood that this could hurt her feelings and so before we made anything final, I spoke with her about it. I asked her if it would be ok with her because I would understand if she wanted her own special time period. She said that it was definitely ok with her and even seemed really excited because we would be able to plan together! Things went really well and we talked and discussed all the time... And then things started to get rocky.
My Maid of Honor planned wonderful events for me. She held a great Bridal Shower and Bachelorette Party. Unfortunately for my good friend, her Maid of Honor did not do any of this. My friend asked me to plan her bachelorette party instead and wanted me to do it the Monday after my wedding which I agreed to do since I would still be in town. She changed her mind repeatedly and just wasn't happy. Finally my Maid of Honor offered to host a party for both of us. My friend seemed very excited by this idea and instantly agreed as it would save our friends money and would be fun. I paid for the cost of half of the decorations and her meal. It was a great party and everyone had fun. The attention was definitely on the both of us.
Now I hear (from others) about her complaining about when my wedding is and about how it is getting more attention. The difference is that most people can go to my wedding so of course it creates more conversation. Only me and one other person are even attending her wedding! She was also upset because she did not get enough presents for her bridal shower. She did not create a registry and told everyone that if they wanted to give her something that it should be money but it wasn't expected (and this was on the invitation that she sent herself...I know what you are thinking). My opinion is that of course she did not get any gifts or money when presenting it that way. Only a couple of our friends brought me gifts anyway. The rest were all from family. I know she is hurt because mine seems to be going better than hers but I am doing everthing I can to make hers a great experience including seeming excited constantly about it!
Now after rattling on for a while, I get to the question. Was I wrong to plan my wedding on that date? If it was going to be a problem I feel like she should have been honest up front and not complain about it after the fact. I'm not going to say anything to her about it but I really need to get my feelings lined up on the situation.
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 11, 2008, 5:10 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Jun 11, 2008, 6:13 PM
Post #2 of 3
(260 views)
Re: Planned wedding one week before friend
[In reply to]
Dear Remisue,
If you have a number of mutual friends who would be invited to both weddings, then it wasn't the best plan. It would have been better to plan it for another date further from her wedding or invite different friends. But, you did ask her and she was fine at the time.
There really isn't anything you can do at this point. She planned a destination wedding, so that is a huge reason for her not to have many guests attending or sending her gifts.
Re: Planned wedding one week before friend
[In reply to]
There is only one couple who will be attending both weddings. It seems like that would be your only concern so it sounds as though I covered my bases and should just not worry about it and stick it out at this point. Let me know if there are any other concerns. Thanks for the advice!
Planned wedding one week before friend
