My fiance and I have been together for almost eleven years, been living together for six, and got engaged last year. We are not registering anywhere and in exchange for gifts we would like the guests to bring a food dish to the reception (potluck style). the guests are family (aunts, uncles. cousins, siblings, and a few close friends. Is this too tacky? A-M bring side dish M-Z a salad
Can it be done and how?
The count comes close to 200 persons
Thanks in advance
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Jul 13, 2004, 6:19 PM
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Re: [Nicole VerMulm] Potluck wedding can it be done and how?
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This is a very tricky situation. In some social circles, potluck weddings are the norm. This is generally occurs when the bride and groom have little spending cash and the community pulls together to host a potluck reception.
For the bride and groom (or any immediate family members) to ask guests to bring food could be considered to be in poor taste.
You haven't mentioned the reason you'd like to host a potluck wedding reception but I am guessing it is due to a small budget. If this is the case then cake and champagne hosted yourselves is much more generous than inviting others while requiring them to provide a portion of the refreshments. Since you have indicated that all of the guests are family members then speak to a few of them and feel them out to see what they think your guests will say. If they feel this type of party will be pleasing to your family then go for it. Consider asking the guests to bring a copy of the recipe for the dish they are bringing to slip into a premade cookbook. (Do this by word of mouth since asking for anything such as a gift or money in lieu of a goft is an etiquette no-no. Recipe Legacy is a unique consideration whereby your guests can have their recipe included in a beautiful, personalized book to give to be kept by the bride and groom as a keepsake and as a useful kitchen tool. Check it out.
How to organize a potluck wedding reception as per our friends at The Wedding Gazette:
Divide the dinner into courses, and on the invitation, you can suggest that a certain number of people bring a dish from a particular category. That way you don't end up with fifty-six chickens. If you have enough local people bringing food, no one should have to bring a dish for more than ten people. For instance, let's say you are having eighty people to the wedding, and half of those people are able to bring a dish. (I wouldn't suggest inviting more than eighty to a potluck wedding in order to keep things under control.) If the food is broken into five basic groups, appetizers, entrees, vegetables, salads (including fruit salad) and bread with butter, you will have eight people for each group, or enough for eighty.
You will want to be sure to buy plenty of paper cups, plates, cutlery, napkins, cups for coffee, and cream, sugar, coffee and tea. Another option is to rent the plates, cups, etc., along with chairs, eating tables, dining tables, bar tables, cake table, coffee urns, table clothes, and garbage cans, depending on what you need, and which works out to be cheaper. If there is a big discount place nearby, and you are having your wedding in a church hall that has plenty of chairs and tables, it may be cheaper to buy.
Be sure that you have arranged to have either iced coolers or refrigeration available in a collection spot, where people will be dropping off the food. Have someone assigned to managing the drop off operation, wearing a big roll of masking tape on their wrist, and a magic marker on a string around their neck. This way, as stuff comes in, it can be quickly labeled on the top to identify the dish, and on the bottom, to identify the giver, so that if the plate isn't a throw-away, it won't get confused with the rest of the dishes.
Serving utensils can either be rented, bought ahead at a tag sale, or if people bring them along, just tape the utensils as well. The food manager can ask if the dish needs to be refrigerated at the point of collection, so that nothing will end up spoiling. I think it can be well worth it for the day of the wedding to consider hiring someone to take care of this job, along with a few local teenagers to help with the set up and break down. It shouldn't cost more than five hundred dollars to hire four to six people, depending on where you live, and how experienced your help is. Four to six assistants, with at least one of those being an experienced person in charge, is a sufficient number for a guest list of up to eighty.
Hiring help allows you to have someone looking after the food throughout the event, without worry or guilt. The warmer months are convenient for planning the menu, but they also mean warmer temperatures, and you don't want to have the food sitting on the tables for more than a two hours after people have started eating. Your manager will be responsible for having everything cleared away. Buy the biggest, industrial size Saran wrap that you can find, so that dishes that are not in jeopardy of spoiling, can be wrapped to go home with the giver, or saved in the fridge for the after hours party.
Go over a list with your manager(s), that includes all of their responsibilities. Be sure to check things like, refilling the drinks coolers, or water pitchers, keeping the serving tables neat and clean, changing garbage bags, and clearing tables or picking up used paper plates and cups.
Figure out where all the garbage should go at the end of the night, and where all the clean serving plates, etc., can be picked up to go home. If your crew is voluntary, it is usually best to assign very specific tasks to each person. Although large numbers of guests are possible, especially with professional help, remember that smaller numbers are always easier.
Other items you may want to consider assigning to friends, who will now be friends for life, if they were not already on that list, are ones that a caterer usually helps to coordinate. Drinks, ice for drinks, coolers for drinks, flowers, champagne, champagne flutes, (these are available in plastic), setting up the reception area before the guests arrive, cleaning up, and of course, the wedding cake.
If you are lucky enough to have a friend or family member who wants to make the cake, ask them if they have made a wedding cake before. It ain't easy making a cake for the masses, and it is especially not easy to deliver it (get it there two hours before the reception). Make sure that your cake maker has a plan. Pick someone with a quiet, but obsessive compulsive personality. These are the best decorated cake makers, and they won't let anything come between them and their goals of perfection on the day of. So go on and get married. Everybody loves a party.
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Potluck wedding can it be done and how?
