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Request funeral date change from wedding day?

 

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onceagain




Post #1 of 6 (363 views)
     Request funeral date change from wedding day?  

Is it proper for a bridesmaid to request that a family funeral date be changed so that she can attend both said wedding and family funeral? Bride is a friend and funeral is for husband's grandmother...

TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT / Moderator




Post #2 of 6 (350 views)
     Re: Request funeral date change from wedding day? [In reply to]  

How ridiculous. A funeral cannot be changed.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator -
"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT




Post #3 of 6 (337 views)
     Re: Request funeral date change from wedding day? [In reply to]  

Ditto on that. Wow. That is a first. Very inappropriate.
Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now

onceagain




Post #4 of 6 (330 views)
     Re: Request funeral date change from wedding day? [In reply to]  

Even worse....Is it plausible for the family of the deceased to accept the request and postpone the funeral by a day ? This just happened in my family over this weekend. My sister-in-law made this request and my grandmothers funeral was postponed from Saturday to Sunday, so that she could be a bridesmaid at her friends wedding. The obituary even listed the private family service as being on Saturday! My sister in law made the request on Thursday and the family accepted the change on Friday as the obituary ran...Another question - having been fueding with the sister-in-law for several years, is it acceptable to not attend the funeral service as a grandson and as a result of the sister-in-law having controlled the occasion?

TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT / Moderator




Post #5 of 6 (325 views)
     Re: Request funeral date change from wedding day? [In reply to]  

Your issue really goes beyone wedding etiquette.

I can't tell your age, as you haven't mentioned it, but to miss your own grandmother's funeral because you don't get along with a family member seems problematic and sad. Plus, I don't see how skipping the funeral helps anyone but your sister-in-law. Search your heart and I'm sure you'll figure out what's right. I would suggest getting some family counseling about these issues.
Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator -
"Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".

onceagain




Post #6 of 6 (314 views)
     Re: Request funeral date change from wedding day? [In reply to]  

My age is 31. My grandmother suffered a severe stroke and was on machines. I visited her out of state just two weekends ago to say my good-byes and tell her I'd meet her in heaven. I chose to go at that time, before she was taken off the machines, because I felt there was a better chance of her hearing me and I knew my sister-in-law would be pulling some sort of stunt. I also read and left her a card my 5 year old daughter made for her. I am content in that choice - I was able to hold her hand, touch her, and hear her breath. My sister-in-law is evil, selfish, jealous, and interferes with my family relationships by telling lies about me. I have made an effort to distance myself from her for the past 3 or 4 years, and I am still constantly attacked by her lies to my family. You are right - it is a very sad situation. I have lost my father's side of the family because of her. The loss of my grandmother was on my mother's side and it scary to think of my only family left also succumbing to the control of this woman. You're probably wondering - Why do they let her do it? Because she has lifted the burden of my family which is my brother. I shall not go into those details. The family also requested that children not attend. We were happy to oblige. My wife was going to stay at the hotel with my four children while I attended the service. My sister-in-law refused to go unless she could bring her children. And then it was allowed. At first for her only, then later I was told it was OK for me. However I would never take my two toddlers to a funeral and had already decided I would not be going.



 
 


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Nov 4 2009

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