What's the best way to respond to someone (not involved in the wedding planning) talking badly about our wedding behind our backs? We tried confronting them- it didn't work...
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edited by gail1278 on Jul 21, 2008, 8:41 PM)
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Jul 21, 2008, 8:36 PM
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Re: Responding to Bad Talk About our Wedding
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Jul 21, 2008, 10:50 PM
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Re: Responding to Bad Talk About our Wedding
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Dear Gail,
There is no way to control the behavior of others, even close family members. So, just keep on your current path and ignore it. Hopefully your guest will notice that you are going forward and not all about the "talk" they hear.
Re: Responding to Bad Talk About our Wedding
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One of the hardest things to do, as a parent, is to let go of your child. It is a time of loss and sadness even though a wedding is such a wonderful event. It looks like your mother is protesting and she may just not realize or what to realize how much it is upsetting you.
Sometimes we must “cut the apron strings” and move from the family of our birth to the family of our choice. Be kind to your mother and, later, she may realize what she has done and she may be forever thankful to you. I would imagine that people will not expect anything but a nice wedding. Like you, perhaps those to whom your mother is talking understand your mother and will not think twice about not attending. Try to make it the best day and overlook the faults of others.
I agree with the other answers and you probably already know this, but you cannot “make” anyone stop an action. You can only tell them how you are feeling. The best way to confront is to not be accusatory and to not attack the person. You say, “When you do (a particular action), I feel (a particular feeling) and I need (what you need) from you.” To say, “I feel like you are hurting me” or “I feel like screaming” is not a feeling. You can say, “I feel sad and angry.” The hard part is that this is simply you expressing yourself and after you say this statement you cannot expect them to understand or agree. They may have a different opinion and you can only express yours.
Responding to Bad Talk About our Wedding
