My fiance and I have lived in Denver, CO for almost 2 years and after lots of discussion (my family is in MI, her's in D.C), we decided to have our wedding in Denver because we are financing the wedding and feel we have the final decision as to where it takes place.
When my fiance told her mother about our plan, she seemed less than thrilled, and stated that she was not sure if her husband( my fiance's father) would be able to make it, as well as some family members who live in the New York area. Her answer to us was to have separate weddings: one in Denver, one in MI, and one in D.C.
Although I can completely understand my fiance wanting her family to be present at our wedding, the idea of having separate weddings with her/my families doesn't feel like a wedding at all to me. I still want my "ideal" wedding, which includes being surrounded by all of the people I love and that love me.
My question is, is it complete callus of me to say I would prefer to have the wedding as planned and to have a family gathering in DC after the wedding? I don't know how we can come to a compromise without one of us feeling angry or upset?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Nov 4, 2009, 4:35 PM)
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Re: Separate weddings in separate states?
[In reply to]
Dear Kate,
There can be only "one" wedding, as when you marry you are married. A second wedding would be a farce, pretend, affair. There can be two receptions however. This is fine. So, decide where you want the wedding and have a second reception with the other set of parents.
This is very common these days with so many family members spread across the country. So, the family really should understand.
Separate weddings in separate states?
