First let me say that I am so new to wedding planning. I wasn't the little girl who has dreamt of her wedding her entire life...so I know very little of etiquette.
Here's my issue:
My step-mom and dad live in Oklahoma. I have a few elderly relatives and most of my family will not be able to travel to my wedding. My step-mom jokingly told me that we should have three weddings: One in Florida where we and my mom reside), One in Oklahoma and one in Minnesota where my fiance's family lives. I told her no that it wasn't possible due to money restraints. We are more concentrated on saving money for investment properties. So, last night I was on the phone with my fiance's mom and she informed me that they were planning on having an open house in Minnesota for family and friends unable to make it to Florida. What should I do? Do I bite the bullet and have a simple open house in Okla. as well - as not to hurt any feelings? I know my dad won't pay for two receptions -- and he shouldn't have to. I just don't know a tactful way of going about this without hurting anyone's feelings. Any help you can offer would be amazing! Thank you!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #2 of 4
(811 views)
Re: [BobbiKing] Two Receptions - Groom's Family paying for one
[In reply to]
Dear BobbiKing,
More than one wedding would be very improper, as you would be already married with the first. You could have more than one reception, however. So, there is nothing wrong with allowing someone to host an informal reception for you. These are not gift giving events though, although some may wish to give you some. Knowing this, please do not mention gifts unless someone asks you what you would prefer.
To help those who were unable to attend your wedding feel as if they are involved, you could show a video of your wedding during the receptions/open houses.
Re: [Etiquette Now] Two Receptions - Groom's Family paying for one
[In reply to]
Just onemore question - If his family hosts and pays for a reception in Minnesota-- am I then "required" to host one in my home state. I feel like I am slighting everyone there even though I am not paying for the one in his state? Thank you for your help!
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Post #4 of 4
(790 views)
Re: [BobbiKing] Two Receptions - Groom's Family paying for one
[In reply to]
No, you are not obligated to host anything. The reception is optional. The only 'rule' that I can think of concerning receptions that may be an issue in your case is that all wedding guests are invited to the reception. So, if any reception is hosted, the host should allow all wedding guests to attend.
If one of your wedding guests has an issue about the reception being held in a different state than they live, you could remind the person that you are not hosting one but this person is. This is not uncommon. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Two Receptions - Groom's Family paying for one
