This takes a little while to explain, please bear with me. My girlfriend and I just got engaged, and we're having a slight issue regarding the date that's best for us. Jody, my fiancee, is in med school. She will finish May 15, 2005, and begin her residency July 1, 2005. The month and a half in-between is the only completely free time she'll have in the next year and for the four years after that. We thought that it would be great to plan our wedding for the beginning of that time, so that we could then have a relaxing, romantic honeymoon and she could totally enjoy our time together without having to think about or be exhausted from school or her residency (not to mention that we may have to move in that time period, depending on where she is placed for her residency). As well, we'd like to plan a daytime wedding. I'm Jewish, which means we can't get married on a Saturday during the day, because it's against Jewish religious law to start any wedding festivities before the end of Shabbat, which runs from dusk Friday to dusk Saturday. This means we are looking at Sundays in that time. As we have a rather large guest list, consisting of many people from around the country, we thought that the Sunday of Memorial Day weekend would work perfectly (it fits our desires and demanding schedule and people won't have to be back to work on Monday).
This is where the problem comes in. One of Jody's cousins has already set her wedding date for June 18, 2005, which is three weeks after our proposed date. We do not wish to take any attention away from her or cause stress to those of Jody's relatives who need to travel by plane to both weddings, but we also realize that our date is more than simply what we want. It is a time that promises to be the most stress-free for us in the next year or four years after. We have been considering other dates in that period, but would rather not have a Saturday wedding that couldn't start until after 8:00 at night.
We intend to speak with Jody's cousin about her thoughts and feelings about this. I was hoping that you could offer us some advice on the etiquette involved. Is our date too close to Jody's cousin's date? If so, which (before and after) are the appropriate dates to consider?
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 27, 2004, 9:27 AM
Post #2 of 3
(1798 views)
Re: [tambores] Two weddings close in dates (different question)
[In reply to]
Dear Two Weddings,
There really is no wedding etiquette rule for this except that we don't purposely schedule our wedding on or near a family or friend's wedding date because of all of the reasons you stated. My only thought would be to ask the cousin if you could have a double wedding except you really want that extra time to relax and honeymoon before your new bride's residency. And, by the way, it is an excellent and considerate idea to talk to her about this.
Other than combining the two weddings, I have no other ideas. Unfortunately you do not have a lot of choices. So, it is either combine the two, or you really should get married when it is best for the two of you. I feel for all of you. Definitely keep the line of communcation open between the cousin and you two and hopefully all of you can come up with something wonderful.
Re: [tambores] Two weddings close in dates (different question)
[In reply to]
Is it possible for your cousin to move her date? Maybe if she doesn't have all of her details worked out she might not mind moving her date up a few weeks. Discuss it with her, tell her the very real reasons why you are set on YOUR date and pint out the problems it could cause for family members. If she seems at all hesitant just drop it and go on with the planning. It's not worth fighting over and your family will just have to deal with the traveling.
Let us know how this all works out. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Two weddings close in dates (different question)
