Hello...I'm very excited to be planning my wedding, but have run into a problem. My fiance and I live about 1000 miles from our home state where both sides of our families live. My parents have insisted on paying for the wedding and have given us the freedom to do as we (my fiance and I) wish. We would love to get married in the city where we now live in a beautiful hotel that is very special to us...however, if we do only my immediate family will probably be able to afford to attend. My fiance's side is wealthy and will have no financial issues attending the wedding. I've brought this up with some members of my side and they seem to be very hurt by this and take it personally since I am very close to my aunts, uncles and cousins. We could get married in our home state and everyone could easily attend, however, it is not what we really would like to do and I don't want to feel like I'm trying to make everyone happy rather than creating the wedding my fiance and I hope for. Although I feel sad that everyone could not afford to attend the wedding, we would very much like to be married at a place that is special to us. What do you think?
This is a personal opinion since there really isn't much to do with etiquette here...
To me, the location of an event is far less important than the people who attend. Sort of like, "If a tree falls in the forest and there's no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?" theory. Since you have already said that your family is an important part of your life, planning a wedding in a location that makes it convenient for everyone to attend seems right. I don't think you have to look at it as though you're pleasing your family and not yourselves.
Just a thought - is it impossible to find a venue back home, in that more convenient location where everyone you love can be in attendance, which could be just as wonderful as this hotel? I can't tell why that hotel is important to you, so I'm just throwing out the idea that the wedding could be more about the people involved, the words and vows you and your groom exchange, than it is about the place. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
I totally agree. When it is all said and done, you will remember those who shared the day with you, not where it was held. Do yourself and your family a favor and locate a venue in your hometown that is just as spectacular. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
Agreed. Plus, there is the option of hosting a reception back home after the wedding for those who can't attend your wedding/reception. This is usually much more informal than the first reception. Rebecca Black, Etiquette Now
Wedding Location
