I'm having a very hard time planning my wedding. My mother died 5 years ago now, and my father is out of state and in a nursing home. He can't travel. All of my family are out of state, and not close. I have few friends and most of them are out of state and wouldn't be able to afford to come to my wedding.
We are inviting 25 guests to a very small wedding. All but 3 are friends of mine, and of the 3, I believe one would be able to come. On the groom's side, all the guests including family are men, except for his mother.
I'm having a very hard time dealing with this reality. This is my second wedding. The first was also very non-traditional and small, however I did have some family and friends there. This is the groom's first wedding, and he wants it to be special, and for him I'm sure it will be.
I am disappointed that no one will really be there for me, and I don't know how to handle it.
Any advice at all would be appreciated.
Thanks,
Bunni
yvonne"instep"
Social Worker, Stepmother, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor
Aug 25, 2005, 3:11 PM
Post #2 of 2
(953 views)
Re: [bdsbunni] bride has no family and few friends
[In reply to]
This isn't a nice situation for you as you would like to remember a very special wedding day, the way you had anticipated it happening, but all is not lost. The key here is to take control of the things you can to make your day special, and put to rest the things you can't control or change and stop dwelling on them. The reality is your family and friends are simply not in the vicinity and it sounds like out of the three you have invited it is possible only one will make it, leaving you with one person out of twenty five there for just you.
This is probably not an option or you would have explored it, but is there another location you could have the wedding where more of you family or friends could be present, as well as his? Barring that, would you be able to help out your other two friends financially to some degree so that they would be able to attend. This could be a major expense, but if it's doable and would make the difference between your wedding day being one filled with happy memories or not, then consider it; even consider cutting back your budget in other areas if need be, if this is more important. The other option is to have the wedding as planned, and look at having an additional reception or party out of state somewhere where some of your family and friends would be able to attend. When I got married, it was where my husband had grown up and where we planned to live and only a handful of my friends and family could attend so we had a reception back in my home town a week after the honeymoon and it was very special. It wasn't the same as having the one big wedding so many people dream of, but it's a great alternative.
Try to focus on what you can do to make this a memorable event for both of you and remember that the important thing is that you've found your life partner. Don't dwell on the fact that you can't have all of what you wanted or it could very well ruin what you do have. Best of luck!! Yvonne Kelly, MSW, RSW, Certified Stepfamily Counsellor and Coach, Co-Founder and Director of the Step and Blended Family Institute http://www.stepinstitute.ca
bride has no family and few friends
