My fiance and I are lesbians in New York State. We can be legally married in Massachusetts, and it will be recognized in New York, but New York will not issue us a marriage license. We are going there with 2 witness for the legal marriage. The rest of our friends and family cannot afford to go. It is very important to us to take vows in front of our family and friends, and to have her niece and nephew participate. We are planning a backyard ceremony at 1pm with a Unitarian Officiant and our siblings as attendants the week before we go to Massachusetts. We are paying for everything except those things which family members volunteer to take care of. Is it improper to have a wedding before an elopement, given that the elopement is a legal necessity? Are we breaching any etiquette rules?
(This post was
edited by sweetemmy on Apr 23, 2009, 8:59 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
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Re: family ceremony and legal ceremony
[In reply to]
Dear Sweetemmy,
Yes, there are etiquette rule about this. Your wedding would follow the same etiquette all other weddings do, which we have many posts about.
Hosting a "make believe" wedding isn't polite to your guests and doesn't make any sense. Many people host destination weddings. Yours could be one. Invite your guests to share in the real thing. Or you could video your ceremony and host a reception back home where you play the video during your event.
Because it is illegal in your home state does complicate the issue. But, because you can circumvent it, it is best to go the proper route.
family ceremony and legal ceremony
