My future sister-in-law is divorced from an old church friend and they got married in the church that I would have liked to get married in about 2 1/2 years ago, but my future husband and in-laws do not want to go back to that church. This is the church that I grew up in, I have been going to a different church for about 3 1/2 years now, but I still keep in touch with friends that still go there, including the future sister-in-laws ex and his family. My future in-laws do not want me to invite them to the wedding either. Now they want me to have his sister as a bridesmaid, we are friends, but not that close because she lives in another state. I tried to get him to have her stand up on his side with him but he doesn't want to do that. I am having her sing, at his request, so is it okay for her to sing and be a bridesmaid? I am also going to have the bridesmaids and groomsmen say a verse or a short poem during the ceremony too. Please help. My wedding is in April 2005 and I don't know what to do. Thank you.
(This post was
edited by Criss on Aug 9, 2004, 3:20 PM)
Families seem to interfere when they find hesitation in the decision making. You and your fiance should be the decision makers. The two of you have to work out the issue of where to hold the ceremony and who your attendants should be. It's not about the sister that divorced. The issue of the church could be something you may want to compromise on since you have been attending a different church for the past several years. You could still invite the friends from your previous church. When this situation happens you need to think about whether its worth the aggravation to invite the ex of your sister in law. If you continue your relationship with him will this always be an issue between you and your fiance's family?
If your sister in law does become a bridesmaid, it is perfectly okay for her to sing during the ceremony.
I know these are painful issues but if you don't take control of your wedding now, you will not be happy when the decisions are made for you. Step up and take charge. But do try to be mindful of issues which may linger long after the wedding. Nancy Tucker President of Weddings Beautiful US http://www.weddingsbeautiful.com
First of all, this is your wedding, not your in-law's. So, you get to make the decisions about who sings, or doesn't, and who are your bridesmaids. You also get to decide where your wedding is and who you will invite. With all of that said, by the tone of your question, it sounds as if you want to keep everyone happy.
So, by allowing the sister to sing, you have involved her. If you do not want to involve her in any other capacity, that is your choice. You and your future husband can choose a site that both of you love for your wedding ceremony. This is your choice. It would probably be best if this was a decision that you make without the aid of his parents.
As for the verse and poem, I love it. My sister did the same thing and it was beautiful--not a dry eye in the house. This is quite common these days and makes the ceremony even more special. It makes it yours.
future in-laws & planning
