I'm in an interesting situation. My wedding is in four months, and my parents are paying for almost everything. Since this is the case, I understand that they would want a significant amount of input on the decisions made regarding the wedding and related festivities. At first, mom and I were playing tug-of-war with the decision making process, but we've talked about it alot and smoothed things out quite a bit. No problem there.
My fiance, much to my delight (initially), is overwhelmingly interested in helping to plan all the details of the wedding - flowers, menu, music, the whole nine yards. He currently lives 16 hours away from me (I will be moving there two months before the wedding, which is being held in the state where my parents and I currently reside). Since we are having a short engagement and a huge wedding, decisions are having to be made fast, and he's feeling left out. Nothing is set in stone yet - first appointments with vendors haven't even happened yet! I'm trying my best to include him on decisions, by sending pictures of flowers, invitations, etc to him via email. He's complaining that he doesn't even know what decisions still have to be made, and that he feels left out. AUGH! What can I do to keep the peace between an involved fiance, paying parents, and ME, the bride?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on Jun 7, 2004, 6:19 AM)
First, let me congratulate you onhaving found a groom who wants to be part of the planning!
Please speak to your parents and let them know how you and your fiance feel. Just because they are paying doesn't mean they have to plan the entire wedding without any input form the bridal couple. Decide together which areas of planning are left and which might be delegated to your groom.
So far, it sounds like he's been made to feel included with the emailed invitations and flowers so do remind him that since he is not nearby that you are doing your best to include him whenever it is possible. Ask him if he has any ideas about the ceremony (maybe he'd like to write some vows). Have him select his formal wear and the formal wear for the groomsmen.
The answer to problems like this one is always to calmly communicate. It is highly possible that your parents don't know you'd like to be more involved so let them know that you and your groom would like to have some input into the wedding planning. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
groom's input
