My fiance and I are having a heated discussion over wether or not we are obligated to have a "rehersal dinner" for out of town guests.
Background -
Jewish ceremony on Saturday night so there will not be a rehersal before the wedding night.
Parents of the bride and groom paying for the wedding.
unknown exactly how many people will be coming in the friday before the saturday night wedding.
My fiance states it would be basically for those people flying in.
We are cash strapped and a rehersal dinner is not in either parent's budget.
We want to do the "right" thing but we are not sure exactly what is appropriate. Thanks for any help you can give us - The wedding is fast approaching and unfortunately the invitations are not even out yet so we really have no clue how many people this would involve. I am sure though, that if the dinner is held that people in the area would also attend.
Thanks
expertplanner
BRIDAL CONSULTANT
Sep 24, 2005, 9:04 AM
Post #2 of 6
(2682 views)
Re: [wed-shocked] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
[In reply to]
Dear Wed-Shocked:
Whenever there is a wedding rehearsal, normally a wedding rehearsal dinner of some kind follows. Generally, participants of the wedding, and their spouses, close family members and special guests such as the offiiciant and his or her spouse are invited. It is nice to invite the out-of-town guests, but you are not obligated to do so.
While you are not having a wedding rehearsal, it sounds like you do want to have something for your guests. Maybe one solution would be to have a simple pre-wedding gathering with appetizers, beverages, music and celebration instead of a dinner. If you take this route, you might be able to invite those out of town guests, if that's important to the two of you.
Best wishes, Rhonda Allen, Bridal Consultant New Beginnings Weddings
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
Sep 24, 2005, 12:37 PM
Post #3 of 6
(2679 views)
Re: [wed-shocked] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
[In reply to]
I completely agree. Inviting out of town guest is always optional. And, if you are not having a rehearsal, the dinner is optional also. In fact, the 'dinner' can always be whatever the host wishes it to be. So, anything you choose to do is fine.
Re: [expertplanner] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
[In reply to]
I think that my fiance really feels that having something for the out of town guest is the right thing to do while I do not think we have the funds nor do I feel it necessary to go out with people or have the stress of hosting an event the night before the wedding. (I note that most of the hosting would fall to me) I also don't think that our bridesmaids and groomsmen would appreciate coming in a day early to make an appearance at such an event. My fiance says they would not have to attend and I would have to eat dinner anyway.
I guess the ultimate question you both answered - Do we have to have something, either a dinner or a party, for out of town guests or those flying in. - and the answer appears to be that it is a nice gesture but not required.
I love this site - it is resolving many many issues and making our lives during this quite stressful time easier.
Thanks!
TWQadmin
FORUM EXPERT
/ Moderator
Sep 26, 2005, 10:18 AM
Post #5 of 6
(2668 views)
Re: [wed-shocked] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
[In reply to]
Your fiance is right -- you will have to eat anyway -- and it's nice to see those out-of-towners and spend some quality time with them. You could choose to do something really casual such as a catered deli-type buffet for anyone who wants to come or maybe even drop a hint that you'll be at a certain restuarant having dinner, should they like to join you. The second option would allow you to eat but not obligate you to pay or to organize anything.
What say you Rebecca? Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
wed-shocked
Sep 26, 2005, 10:20 AM
Post #6 of 6
(2665 views)
Re: [TWQadmin] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
[In reply to]
rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
Re: [TWQadmin] rehersal dinner/no rehersal so out of town guests
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