Bridesmaids Family members Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner
I am going to be an 8 month pregnant bridesmaid for an old high school friend. My son is to be her ring bearer and will be almost 7 at that time. We will be coming to the wedding from 1000 miles away and giving up Christmas with my family in order to fly out to the wedding in Sept. The MOB has asked me if my mother will be watching my daughter, who will be almost 3) so that my husband may attend the rehearsal dinner with myself and our son or if my husband is going to stay with her. My family lives in the same state as the wedding, but my mother lives over an hour away from where the rehearsal will be and we aren't staying with my mother for any part of this trip. Being that I am pregnant and emotional anyway, I am really upset that basically I am being told that my daughter isn't invited. I understand the etiquette involved, but I am wondering if it's appropriate to invite 3 of 4 family members to a rehearsal dinner especially when they are coming from out of town. My sister could possibly keep her, but my daughter only sees my family once or twice a year and isn't very familiar with them yet because she is so young. Another key point is that I told the MOB that I would be coming out a full week before the wedding with my daughter (who would basically be with me at ALL times) and my husband and son would come out the day before the rehearsal because of work/school. We have already had a rocky time getting things together from another state. We can only afford to pay for my dress and shoes so the MOB is paying for my son's tux and they don't make the dress that the bride chose in maternity so I had to buy way larger and my MIL is going to alter it to fit me for the wedding. I don't want to step on anymore toes that I feel I already have, but I can't imagine leaving my daughter with people she barely knows in an unfamiliar place. How much can a 3 year old eat anyway! Am I wrong for being upset? How can I/should I approach the situation?
(This post was
edited by TWQadmin on May 27, 2008, 2:29 PM)
Etiquette Now
WEDDING ETIQUETTE EXPERT
May 27, 2008, 5:54 PM
Post #2 of 4
(997 views)
Re: Bridesmaids Family members Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner
[In reply to]
Dear Bridesmaid,
The host isn't obligated to invite your 3 year old and I doubt that it has anything to do with how much she may eat. The guest list usually includes only those who need to rehearse. It would be nice for them to invite your daughter, but it is their choice.
The couple is only obligated to invite your daughter to the wedding and only because they shouldn't separate siblings by inviting one and not the other.
It is also your choice to attend the dinner, as it is optional. That may be your best option.
Re: Bridesmaids Family members Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner
[In reply to]
I don't know what your mom's setup is like but seems to me this would be a good opportunity for you to have some girl time with your mom as well as some alone time for you while your mom watches the baby. if you were my daughter, I'd insist. Top Wedding Questions Forum Moderator - "Write your sorrows in the sand, your blessings in stone".
Weddings by Shayna
WEDDING CONSULTANT
May 27, 2008, 6:55 PM
Post #4 of 4
(992 views)
Re: Bridesmaids Family members Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner
[In reply to]
Even without the extra hormones, we moms can be defensive when our kids aren't included, but the harsh fact is that they have no obligation to invite your daughter to an event. If you truly feel strongly about not leaving her with a sitter, be courteous to your hosts and let them know now that you are unable to attend the rehearsal dinner. Shayna Walker, Williamsburg Wedding Design http://www.williamsburgweddingdesign.com
Bridesmaids Family members Not Invited to Rehearsal Dinner
